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I need to speak. 00:00:01
Welcome everyone to the City Council special meeting. 00:00:03
I'm calling this meeting to order. The time is now 3:00 PM. 00:00:08
Madam Clerk, can you please take roll? 00:00:12
Council Member Gamma. 00:00:15
Here Council Member Hernandez here. Council Member McQueen Lujan here. 00:00:17
Mayor Pro Tem Perez and Mayor Martinez, President. 00:00:22
We will now hear public comments. Some participants please use the Raise Your Hand feature if you'd like to comment. You will have 00:00:26
3 minutes to provide comments, Madam Clerk. 00:00:30
Does anyone have a public comment tonight or today? There are no public comments. 00:00:34
OK. 00:00:39
Feels like we were just here yesterday. 00:00:40
Ohh. 00:00:43
I will now turn it over to our presenter. Our first business item is Governance Role Training Session 3. 00:00:45
Do I get more than 3 minutes? 00:00:53
Yes, you. You. 00:00:55
Definitely get just a little bit more than 3 minutes. OK. Well, thank you guys for being here today. I do have to admit that. 00:00:58
It's going to be really awkward standing here looking at you, but we're going to make it work and it's going to be awesome. 00:01:05
That's even worse. 00:01:11
That's even worse, I think. 00:01:13
I'm used to training and walking around, so. 00:01:14
I apologize if I start doing this, so just. 00:01:18
Like let me know. 00:01:21
OK. I like it. Expectations are good. Please stay close to the mic. 00:01:23
As long as we know the expectation, right. OK. So today we're going to be talking about. 00:01:29
Harnessing the power to lead building and rebuilding trust in your role as a leader. 00:01:35
Do you guys have this in front of you? 00:01:40
Or OK. OK, good. 00:01:42
And so the whole idea of this training for me. 00:01:43
Um, started. 00:01:48
I guess so. I'll I'll give you a little bit background about myself. I'm a former high school administrator and a high school 00:01:52
teacher and a high school coach. 00:01:55
And so every single September, August year. 00:02:00
Starting of school year, I would have to rebuild trust or start building trust. 00:02:05
With anywhere from 100 and. 00:02:10
80 to 230 people. 00:02:13
On day one, right. And start and get there. Especially because, shocker, I taught high school Spanish, which doesn't really feel 00:02:16
like something I should teach, right? And so. 00:02:21
Back to school night. Always was. Hey, I'm looking for my kids. Spanish teacher. It's me. I know. Yeah, it's it's hard to believe, 00:02:27
right? 00:02:30
And so, day one. 00:02:34
My kids would come into the class and it was all about starting to build trust. 00:02:36
And get them to believe in. 00:02:41
Not only do I know what I'm doing, but believe in the process and the and the way that I want them to be successful in my 00:02:42
classroom. 00:02:46
Likewise teaching kids how to play basketball. 00:02:50
And and coaching them. 00:02:53
I needed them to trust in me that the plays that. 00:02:55
I was developing and drawing up for them. We're going to work. 00:03:00
Their role on the team was something that had value and I needed them to believe in that process. 00:03:03
And understanding that. 00:03:08
The whole process isn't just one little set time. 00:03:11
It's a it's a a long season and that trust needs to be built so that we can all work forward together. 00:03:16
And so, as as I've kind of had those experiences in the back of my mind. 00:03:22
It came together in this training and. 00:03:27
And for me, all of us. 00:03:29
Need to build trust, whether it's with community members, with the people we work with. 00:03:32
And strengthen what we have. 00:03:37
Or. 00:03:39
If we've had unfortunate situations where we've lost that trust. 00:03:39
To build that back up. 00:03:43
I think what's hard is a lot of us assume and think that. 00:03:45
Once we lose trust, we can't get it back again. And I think that's a sentiment that a lot of us feel, especially if. 00:03:49
It's one that. 00:03:56
Might have damaged the relationship pretty hard. 00:03:57
Um, but I I feel that we can. 00:04:00
Build and rebuild that trust back to what it used to. 00:04:03
What it was, hopefully. 00:04:06
But at least start that process to get it back and start working towards what it used to be. 00:04:08
Maybe stronger, maybe not as strong, but it, it can be rebuilt. So we're going to talk a little bit about that today. 00:04:13
Also some of the ways that trust can be ruined by us. 00:04:19
And and and kind of avoiding some of those and and working through that together. 00:04:24
Umm. 00:04:28
When we think about trust and we think about our role as leaders, there's there's two different styles of leadership that I need 00:04:30
us to think about #1, the authority to lead and that authority to lead comes from. 00:04:35
That title or position that we have right if if I'm. 00:04:41
City manager people have to do what I ask them to do because. 00:04:45
I'm in charge, right? And. 00:04:50
And that title gives me that ability to do that. 00:04:51
The difference between the power to lead. 00:04:54
Comes from people who believe in what I'm trying to do. 00:04:57
And so they will do what I asked them to do, not because they have to. 00:05:00
But because they want to. 00:05:04
And so when we're talking about trust and we're talking about this process of of leadership. 00:05:06
REST helps us get people to believe in us and it gives us that power to lead and I know. 00:05:12
Power to lead can kind of sound like. 00:05:17
A weird way to say that because. 00:05:19
I don't want to use my. 00:05:22
Unrighteous dominion, I guess, on people, but. 00:05:25
It's it's that ability to give people and empower people to to do an act. 00:05:28
And to believe in what they're doing and believe in what we're doing. 00:05:33
So as we. 00:05:36
Work through this today and talk about some of these things. All of this is going to help us. 00:05:37
Get to a position in a place where we can. 00:05:42
Build that trust and build that. 00:05:45
That buy in to get people to follow and do. 00:05:47
Because they want to, not because they have to. 00:05:50
And when I define trust, I define trust as a belief in the ability, integrity, and character of another person. 00:05:55
Has anybody been skydiving before? 00:06:04
How many times have you missed skydiving? 00:06:08
Just a couple. OK. More than once then. 00:06:11
OK. 00:06:15
And when you went for the first time. 00:06:16
Can you share a little bit about? 00:06:19
Your interaction with your diving buddy that was you were strapped to, what was that? 00:06:22
Process for you like. 00:06:26
Did you trust him right away? Like how, how, how did that all? 00:06:29
Work with trust. 00:06:33
OK. 00:06:39
That definitely trusted the person that was there. If not. 00:06:44
I would, you know. 00:06:47
I wouldn't go when jump out of a plane, right? Don't jump out of a plane. 00:06:49
Right. And if we think about this, right, let's all pretend that. 00:06:53
Instead of listening to me for the next however long I'm going to be talking for. 00:06:56
I'll keep that a secret, right? So you guys can't like. 00:07:00
Watch the clock and wait with anticipation. But if we were going skydiving right now. 00:07:03
And you had a choice between instructors? 00:07:08
You would probably not choose the instructor who said. 00:07:12
Today's my first day. 00:07:15
And you're my first person that I'm jumping with. 00:07:17
Right. 00:07:20
But you would be more likely to choose somebody who said, yeah, this is jump 5000 for me. Like I'm in it. This is what I do every 00:07:20
single day. 00:07:24
You'll ask questions on his or her ability, like, talk to me about this. Tell me what this does. 00:07:28
And if the parachute collapses, what do we do? 00:07:33
Right. We're trying to figure out a little bit about his or her ability to keep us safe. 00:07:36
And that next one, the integrity that we feel will ask different questions and. 00:07:41
And see how here he how he or she responds. 00:07:46
And what type of responses they get? Are they telling the truth? 00:07:49
And are they not telling the truth? 00:07:53
And then as we continue to ask questions, we'll get an idea if they care about us. 00:07:55
They want us to have fun. They want us to be safe. 00:08:00
And all three of those things go into helping us trust. 00:08:03
The person that we're going to jump out of a plane with, right we. 00:08:06
Probably have never met them before. 00:08:10
But we're trusting them with our life. 00:08:12
10,000 feet or however high you jump out of a plane from 18,018 thousand. OK, so 8000 more feet. 00:08:15
It. I don't even like seconds to to be scared, but. 00:08:21
Still scary, right? And so. 00:08:25
Trust can be created. 00:08:27
And very quickly and I think for a lot of us we think. 00:08:30
Trust takes a long time to build, and it takes a long time for us to get to where. 00:08:34
I can trust you as my life, but as we've seen. 00:08:38
Skydiving is an an incident where we need trust immediately and it's something that we can build. 00:08:42
And it's through our ability, our integrity and our character that we can demonstrate that to others. 00:08:48
And as we work through scenario situations with people. 00:08:53
And we give them opportunities to see our abilities. 00:08:57
And we were just talking about. 00:09:00
A beach cleanup. 00:09:03
Right. And if we were in charge of a beach cleanup and. 00:09:05
We dropped the ball. We didn't bring the right supplies. We couldn't coordinate things appropriately. 00:09:10
Than our ability that we've demonstrated to others. We'd lose that immediately. 00:09:15
And then the next time. 00:09:20
That someone's looking for somebody to fill a task or fill a role and you raise your hand and volunteer. 00:09:21
People are not gonna be like ohh yeah Laura, we want you. 00:09:27
If it didn't go well, right. And so all of these things help build that trust and and overtime it strengthens but it's something 00:09:30
that can happen. 00:09:34
Quickly and and then and if we don't if done effectively can be very beneficial to those that we work with. 00:09:38
We all know a lot of the benefits of trust, but I've I've just highlighted a couple here that I want to trust on or I want to 00:09:45
touch on. Excuse me? 00:09:48
It improves our efficiency and it lowers our cost and how does that work? 00:09:52
If we can improve our efficiency. 00:09:56
We improve efficiency because I trust the people I work with. 00:10:00
Umm. 00:10:03
If. 00:10:04
Misty. 00:10:05
I'm just going by the name in front of you, So is that yes? 00:10:06
If. 00:10:09
Um, if I trust Missy to get a job done, then I'm not going to waste my time. 00:10:10
Continually following up with her and. 00:10:14
And micromanaging her process. I'm just going to let her get it done, which is going to allow me to get my work done. 00:10:17
Which will then improve our efficiency and lower our cost. 00:10:23
Umm. 00:10:27
We just trust other people to do our jobs and we can move forward. 00:10:28
Knowing that they're going to get their job done, but also we know that since they trust us. 00:10:32
We can move forward. We don't have to waste time looking for approval. 00:10:37
Continually with the people that we're working with because we know that they trust us in this process. 00:10:41
Collectively, if if we have a culture of trust and a culture where. 00:10:47
We understand that people will come when needed, but not all the time. 00:10:51
And we can work more effectively together. 00:10:55
I have three questions up here and I want you guys to kind of talk with the person next to you. 00:10:59
123-4567, Eight. Good. And I want you to pick either three of these categories individually, in teams or at the office. 00:11:05
And I want you to answer these three questions and we'll give you a little bit of time, then we'll come back and share out. 00:11:14
But what does trust look like? 00:11:19
In teams or what does trust look like at the office? 00:11:21
What are characteristics of trust? 00:11:25
And then what is evidence of trust? So how do you know trust is there? 00:11:27
Umm. 00:11:31
And one of these places, so 2 1/2 minutes or so and then we'll come back and share. 00:11:33
OK. 00:11:37
I don't, No, I don't think you have. I don't think we have to have mics on because then we'll share out. 00:11:39
Get a lot. 00:11:46
Xbox. 00:13:14
At the outset. 00:13:26
One of those. 00:13:30
Or at least self aware right? This is good. 00:14:10
This is good. 00:14:13
Another 30 seconds. 00:14:15
Kind of finalize your thoughts here another 30 seconds. 00:14:17
Think I'm all the way up. 00:14:36
And. 00:14:37
So. 00:14:39
It's all good. 00:14:40
We'll make it happen. 00:14:41
I appreciate it. 00:14:43
Need to. 00:14:45
Shrink a little bit. 00:14:46
Do some lunges, OK? 00:14:48
Um, I hope we were able to have some good conversation with. 00:14:50
As we were sitting with Does anyone want to share? 00:14:55
Did anybody talk about individually what trust looks like? 00:14:57
And you guys did, do you want to kind of share what you guys were talking about and you can? 00:15:01
Go through all three questions if you want or or one, whatever you guys want to do. 00:15:05
We actually picked. 00:15:11
The things that we touched on actually fit in for all group areas, but the most important. 00:15:14
For us was communication, transparency, collaborative and honesty. 00:15:20
So those can work with a team. 00:15:26
At the office, or even individually, still need all four of those care characteristics. 00:15:28
And were those listed in? 00:15:33
Order of importance or just no? 00:15:36
OK. If you had to pick one, what would be most important to you guys? 00:15:38
They're all equally important with each other. 00:15:46
Right, if you can have communication. 00:15:48
But how honest is it and how transparent? 00:15:51
You can have transparency, but are they being transparent about the truth? 00:15:54
Feel like you're asking a trick question. I'm not trying to catch you. 00:15:58
Yeah. 00:16:04
Um. 00:16:05
I I think it's interesting that communication did come up. 00:16:06
And because I think in a lot of ways. 00:16:09
Communication is an easy way to ruin trust. 00:16:12
Whether it's. 00:16:15
Withholding information or. 00:16:16
Not sharing the right information. 00:16:18
Or choosing who to share information with or who not to share information with. 00:16:20
Demonstrates a lot of trust. 00:16:25
But also, if I don't trust somebody, there's things that I'm not going to share with them. 00:16:28
Because I don't want. 00:16:34
The Pandora's Box, for lack of a better reference to get out right. 00:16:36
In my family, if I want to keep a secret safe. 00:16:41
I will never tell. 00:16:45
My grandma. 00:16:47
My grandma's notorious for. 00:16:49
Hey, did you hear about so and so And I'm like, grandma. What? Do you what? No. 00:16:51
There's other people I do know in my family, I can tell them, and it's a steel box. 00:16:55
It's never coming out right, and so trust can be demonstrated. 00:17:00
By how you communicate, but also who you communicate with. Very good. 00:17:04
Did anybody else talk? 00:17:09
Let's go to teams who talked about teams and we can go back here as well, but. 00:17:12
Who talked about teams? What does trust look like? What does evidence of trust in teams, please? 00:17:16
Individually, each member of the team has to do what they say Do their assignment as assigned, yeah? 00:17:28
And then? 00:17:35
When you work as a team. 00:17:37
And you run into problems, then hopefully you could come together and trust. 00:17:39
In the judgment and trying to solve the problem. 00:17:43
Social Accountability #1 Right like. 00:17:49
I don't do what I say kind of thing, yeah. But as in if you're in like in a team effort and you're. 00:17:52
Yeah, you use it footballs and analogies. Like you know that that defensive end keeps coming in there. 00:17:58
What are we going to do about that guy? OK, we're gonna, you know. 00:18:03
We're gonna try something different and I think. 00:18:06
I think as a team. 00:18:10
You know it's most important to monitor your results. 00:18:11
You know the risk management process. You know fifth step and. 00:18:15
And I try to improve on it and and just be and then that's where individually it's like, look, you got to be on time, you got to 00:18:19
be transparent, you gotta just be realistic And then we we all have to. 00:18:23
Figure out a new way of moving forward to keep going in the direction that we want to go in. 00:18:29
Very good. 00:18:34
So how do you? How? What is the evidence of trust, or how? 00:18:35
Kind of summarizing what you just shared. How do you know? 00:18:38
There is trust on a team. 00:18:41
I think individually like for me, and some people may laugh but be on time. 00:18:44
If if we're going to have a meeting and we're going to do something, be on time and then and then. 00:18:50
Start from there, sure. 00:18:55
In, in, in the, in a team or at the office and you know do what you're assigned to do. 00:18:57
And then? 00:19:03
Speak the bad and good truth. 00:19:05
OK, share the good stuff. 00:19:08
Share the bad stuff. Yeah. Don't hide it. Don't disguise it. Yeah, just put it out there. 00:19:10
So that. 00:19:16
The five of us can make good decisions based on. 00:19:17
The good and the bad truth, whatever that may be, yeah. 00:19:21
But we we just talked a little bit about communication maybe withholding. 00:19:24
Some things because maybe we're worried about. 00:19:28
How that reflects on us? 00:19:31
Or or what message we might be sending? 00:19:33
I just read a book called Extreme Ownership and in this book. 00:19:36
The the author talks about owning the entire process, I think frequently. 00:19:40
Not I think. I know it's very easy to own the process. 00:19:45
When we have been successful, right like. 00:19:49
Look at all the good that we did and and I'm going to talk about this. 00:19:52
But it's hard for us to own the process. 00:19:55
If we've done poorly. 00:19:58
Or it's easy for us to say it's. 00:20:00
Charles's fault or it's Johnny's fault. It's not my fault, it's somebody else's fault and and I deflect the blame. 00:20:04
In a in a team setting, something that I've learned over the years, it's like, you know? 00:20:11
At the time, it sounded like a good idea. And now we know differently. And that breaks the ice. Sure, you know, just. 00:20:15
So oftentimes in a team or in the office, you know you got to break the ice and. 00:20:23
To me, that's always been a good way. Like, you know, we at the time. 00:20:27
It would just look like a really good idea. Yeah. Now we know differently. Yeah, very good. 00:20:31
Like. 00:20:36
Making an ad about cigarettes and and trying to sell cigarettes like we thought it was OK at the time. We found out that causes 00:20:38
cancer and we're not going to do that anymore, right? And so. 00:20:42
Good example anybody else? 00:20:46
Want to share anything about trust, Building trust on teams? Please. 00:20:48
Think on. 00:20:54
On the personal side, characteristics of. 00:20:55
Me being trustworthy is, you know, account. I'm accountable. 00:21:01
My when I say something, I'm gonna do that. I think on the other side is delegation. 00:21:06
OK. 00:21:12
People to say, OK, I I I trust this person. Therefore I will give this person something of responsibility, sure. 00:21:13
Yeah. 00:21:21
And that's a slippery slope delegation. Some people are super delegators. 00:21:22
And they delegate everything regardless of what it is. 00:21:29
Because they don't want to do it. 00:21:32
Other people are master receivers of delegation. 00:21:34
Right. They get the job done, so they're the ones that always get. 00:21:38
Load it on with the extra tasks and so. 00:21:41
Finding that balance between. 00:21:44
Trusting and giving. 00:21:46
But also understanding how much and when and and what we're giving. 00:21:48
Very good. Please. 00:21:52
One of the things that I wanted to mention is. 00:21:53
Trust, in my opinion, is not something that's seen statically. 00:21:56
It has to be seen in motion. 00:22:00
So I think it's an action like so it's really difficult. 00:22:03
To think of it like that, but trust is an action. It's something that's being done. 00:22:06
And it's it's a it's a confidence. 00:22:11
That people are going to listen, communicate and are going to be honest with you. 00:22:14
So individually looking at it, it's like being confident in yourself and you know, trusting in yourself and so it's like the way 00:22:18
that you carry yourself and and believe about yourself and then. 00:22:23
In teams it would be about the same you're you're. 00:22:28
Now just being confident, not just in yourself, but you're confident in your team. So it's it's being expanded to the whole group. 00:22:32
Sure. 00:22:39
I like that analogy it. 00:22:40
It it's an action. 00:22:42
You can see when. 00:22:43
Trust is a parent or trust is. 00:22:45
Umm. 00:22:48
Something that people have within a group. 00:22:49
Likewise you can see when trust doesn't exist. 00:22:51
Right, there's there's islands or silos and people are working independently and. 00:22:54
And choosing not to interact with others because. 00:22:58
There is no trust we've that bridge has been burned too many times, right? And so. 00:23:01
I like that. Very good. Anybody else? 00:23:06
Please. 00:23:08
The way in real quickly and on dovetail on what Mayor Martinez has shared. 00:23:09
When you ask the question what does trust look like? I I. 00:23:13
I look for a behavior, Umm. And if I meet somebody for the first time, I I read their body language and how they're standing or 00:23:18
sitting or. 00:23:22
Posing sure. And you know if they are. 00:23:28
They're kind of like. 00:23:30
Looking timid and maybe I'm not going to have much confidence in them or I'm going to treat them a little delicately. 00:23:32
If they're standing up straight and are sitting up straight, they look like they're eager to go and ready to. 00:23:38
You know, to get to work. Yeah. So that's like for me, the first indicators of behavior. 00:23:43
But overtime then you? 00:23:50
That's the proof is in the pudding, right? 00:23:52
And then you look for the characteristics of. 00:23:55
The results, Yeah. What results can they deliver? Yeah. And then. 00:23:57
Through the results you develop trust, yeah. 00:24:00
Everyone can put on a good face initially. 00:24:04
And then you find out exactly who somebody is. 00:24:07
Later right. That's where that integrity piece of of. 00:24:10
Building that trust falls in. 00:24:12
Are you who you say you are? And are you going to continue to be that person? 00:24:14
When it gets rough or when it gets hard. 00:24:18
Very good. 00:24:21
Anybody else back here? Want to share anything? 00:24:22
I'm sorry, can you come to the mic? 00:24:26
Yeah, Leveler. 00:24:33
So we talked about teams and trust in our teams and one of the things was when we trust our teams. 00:24:35
We tend as leaders to not micromanage because we know they're going to get the work done. 00:24:41
And we know they work well with each other and it's. 00:24:46
Pretty much. Not just what they say, but it's doing it and having the results at the end of the day. 00:24:49
So. 00:24:54
And and that that falls on us as leaders. 00:24:57
To create a space. 00:25:00
Of trust, but also to foster an in. 00:25:02
And help people develop stronger trust to work like that. Very good. Thank you. 00:25:05
Have a question? Yes. Please excuse me for being into your personal life, but. 00:25:10
Why did you walk away from education as a administrator? Was it a trust issue or was it a? 00:25:15
Better opportunity or? 00:25:22
Yeah. 00:25:25
The reason why I got into education was to help. 00:25:28
Grow kids and and. 00:25:31
Help them be better. 00:25:34
And so as a as a teacher and a coach, I felt like I could do that. 00:25:36
And at a small scale with individual kids that I had in my classroom or on my team. 00:25:40
As an administrator. 00:25:45
I was able to do that at a larger scale. 00:25:47
And because I was in enacting change and processes that. 00:25:50
Affected. 00:25:54
2500 kids at a time. 00:25:55
Not just 125 kids. 00:25:57
And so that was fun for me, but. 00:26:00
As my time and administration continued, I found myself more and more. 00:26:02
Engaging with parents, students and teachers. 00:26:07
Who are acting inappropriately and exhibiting poor behavior. 00:26:10
So I was spending my time. 00:26:14
Working on things that. 00:26:17
Were not what I wanted them to be. 00:26:19
What I envision myself doing in education. 00:26:22
So it wasn't a lack of trust. It just wasn't. 00:26:24
I wasn't. 00:26:27
Being able to accomplish what I wanted to do in education. 00:26:28
Umm. 00:26:32
So yeah. 00:26:33
Among a lot of other factors, but. 00:26:34
That was the biggest one, so. 00:26:36
Yeah. 00:26:37
OK. 00:26:38
Any other questions? 00:26:39
OK. 00:26:42
All right, on the screen are a bunch of betrayers of trust and these betrayers of trust. 00:26:43
I hope. 00:26:49
Are not things that we enjoy. If you do enjoy these then. 00:26:50
And we have some issues, but that's OK, we can work through. What I would like you to do is turn to the person that you were just 00:26:55
talking with, and I want you to find the one that you hate the most. 00:27:01
And why? 00:27:07
I want you to share that with the person that you were just communicating with. 00:27:08
So take about a 2 minutes or so, find the one that you hate the most and why. 00:27:12
How does that ruin trust for you? 00:27:18
Why does that destroy team chemistry, all that kind of stuff so? 00:27:20
2 minutes, Mark Sego. 00:27:24
You know another 30 seconds. 00:29:00
Was. 00:29:08
OK. 00:29:10
Sorry. 00:29:13
Said. I'm sorry it was that. 00:29:14
OK. 00:29:45
I I think if we wanted to, we could probably spend. 00:29:47
Like an hour. 00:29:50
Like talking through each one of these. 00:29:52
And we can remember situations where we've. 00:29:54
Interacted with somebody and and really hated it because of one of these, right? But does anybody? 00:29:57
Want to share? 00:30:03
One of these that they don't like. 00:30:05
So the one that popped out to me right away and I think it actually. 00:30:07
Creates. 00:30:10
Everything else. 00:30:12
And it's a good indicator of an integrity issue is refusing to be accountable. 00:30:13
If you are not able to be accountable about your own mistakes. 00:30:18
That is obviously an integrity issue and the lack of honesty issue. It's a well and it creates all of these other situations. 00:30:22
That arise from it. 00:30:31
Yeah. 00:30:32
So how does that ruin A-Team dynamic if? 00:30:33
Well, you're to You're no longer trusted people. You're you're workers. Who are the people who are under you will no longer. 00:30:36
Be able to rely on you. You're good judgment. They don't trust your ability. 00:30:42
Plus um. 00:30:46
You're the one getting all the heat because they're putting the blame on you. Most likely, Yeah. And and then. 00:30:47
Everything that happens. 00:30:53
Is your fault O and then nothing you do. 00:30:55
Ever fixes that issue because they're they refuse to accept responsibility when it's theirs. 00:30:59
And frequently deflect. 00:31:04
Or place the blame on somebody else, right? And. 00:31:06
Because we're not willing to accept our own personal responsibility. 00:31:09
And whatever the situation was, OK, very good. 00:31:14
Anybody else? Pick one or find one that they hate a lot. 00:31:17
Please. 00:31:22
So I selected placing blame, and I think it gets back to being a refusing to to be accountable. If you're blaming other situations 00:31:24
or other people, you're not holding yourself accountable. 00:31:31
And I'm also of the belief that. 00:31:37
Everybody. 00:31:40
Is. 00:31:41
Accountable in a situation that. 00:31:42
Yeah, the situation could have, could have been a bad situation, could have been prevented. It could have been a number of. 00:31:45
Of the fault of a number of people but. 00:31:53
I always believe that. 00:31:57
Even so. 00:31:58
I I have a role in that it's like. 00:31:59
You can't. How long do you want to blame your parents for the fact that your life was screwed up? 00:32:03
You know. 00:32:07
What's my What's I if I believe that my parents screwed my life up? 00:32:08
Then my role in that, my responsibility is that I'm holding on to that right. 00:32:13
So even if I might not be 100% responsible for something, I think. 00:32:18
We're all. 00:32:24
Maybe have a little role. 00:32:25
It's funny you say that. Almost a direct quote from JK Rowling. 00:32:27
There's an expiration date. I'm blaming your parents for your current situation, right? And. 00:32:31
And I think that goes in every situation that we are in, right? 00:32:36
Things have happened but. 00:32:40
If we continually look back as to why. 00:32:42
We couldn't get things done. We can never be forward thinking we didn't. We can never move past it. 00:32:45
Very good. 00:32:50
Anybody else? Anybody here want to share anything? 00:32:51
Umm. 00:32:56
One of these that I think is kind of hard for me is this bottom left one. 00:32:57
A political maneuvering? 00:33:02
Umm. 00:33:04
In one of the school districts that I worked in, it was a small town and there was 1 high school in this town. 00:33:07
And. 00:33:13
There there was an old boys club in district administration. 00:33:15
And so if you are part of this club then. 00:33:19
You kind of got away with whatever you wanted to do. 00:33:21
And if you weren't a part of this club then? 00:33:24
You know what should have been a little slap on the wrist was something huge. 00:33:27
And so people would. 00:33:32
Politically maneuver in situations to get into this club or to do different things. 00:33:33
Which led to obviously more problems. 00:33:39
And I just refuse to play. 00:33:42
Into that game. 00:33:45
Which was to my detriment because I wasn't a part of it. Right. And so. 00:33:47
And. 00:33:51
To the the the bottom right, my interactions became transactional. 00:33:52
And and and it wasn't really there and people weren't really. 00:33:57
Appreciating me for who I am or or what I could bring to the table and so. 00:34:02
It's hard for us when we. 00:34:06
Interact with people and do things. 00:34:08
With a lot of these because they create situations that are not only uncomfortable. 00:34:11
But they damage our relationships and they damaged the workplace. 00:34:15
Culture that we have. 00:34:19
And I just want to talk touch on just one more. 00:34:21
And that one's gossiping. 00:34:24
And if we think about gossiping, to me, it kind of goes with reality TV. 00:34:26
And so we think about this like, why do we watch reality TV? Or why do we gossip? 00:34:33
It's because we want to feel better about our current situation. 00:34:37
And if we think about it right, we we gossip because. 00:34:40
You want to share somebody else's faults or somebody else's? 00:34:43
Shortcomings. 00:34:47
With somebody else with the intent of damaging or harming them. 00:34:48
And there's a difference between that. 00:34:52
And and venting. Venting is. 00:34:54
Talking through a problem and trying to find a solution. 00:34:58
Gossiping is. 00:35:01
Trying to harm or damage somebody else and so. 00:35:03
It it's it's a fine line, but a lot of these things if we just shift the narrative a little bit. 00:35:06
Can lead to some positive interactions with other people. 00:35:13
OK. So we just talked in this previous slide about all these bad things that ruin trust. 00:35:18
Now here are three things that can help build and rebuild trust quickly, please. 00:35:23
Back to. 00:35:30
Refusing to be accountable. Yeah, I had a situation where a person would do. 00:35:32
Bad things and I would call him out on it and they're all about accountable by going ohh, I'm sorry. 00:35:38
And after a while it's like OK look. 00:35:45
Being sorry for deliberate actions isn't accountability. And actually, you know, kind of the opposite. Yeah. Yeah. And so I I 00:35:48
just. 00:35:52
Thought about that like sometimes. 00:35:56
People that do things that they know are bad that, well, I'll just say I'm sorry because now I'm accountable and it's like, well, 00:35:59
you know, not really, yeah. 00:36:02
A little lack of self-awareness there, right? To know exactly the impact that that action is having. 00:36:07
We think that it's OK, but it's really not right our our actions show. 00:36:12
Differently than how we are. 00:36:16
What we're actually saying. 00:36:18
Um. 00:36:20
So let's talk about these three really quick. 00:36:22
And there was a Harvard Business Review. 00:36:24
And that identified. 00:36:27
They tried to identify the three most important qualities that somebody needed to have. 00:36:29
If they wanted to build and rebuild trust quickly. 00:36:34
And throughout their research and studies and findings, they kind of narrowed it down to these three ideas. 00:36:36
Someone who is consistent. 00:36:43
And is accountable to not only themselves, but to others. 00:36:45
And they treat everybody the same way. So if I've got. 00:36:49
Six people on my team. 00:36:53
And and. 00:36:55
All six make a mistake, they all receive the same consequence, or they all receive the same praise. If they do the right thing. 00:36:56
Right so. 00:37:00
I'm consistent in my actions. 00:37:03
And the second one is relationships. Am I able to build relationships with those that I'm interacting and working with? 00:37:05
Umm. 00:37:12
You know, all of us. 00:37:13
Have had situations where we've not had relationships with people and how hard it is to trust them, so we know. 00:37:15
How helpful it is to have a good relationship with those that we're trying to build and rebuild trust with. 00:37:21
And then that last one, which is utilizing and making good judgment. 00:37:26
And so that is a couple of things #1. 00:37:31
Do we have the knowledge, the expertise, the ability to make good decisions? 00:37:34
And if we don't? 00:37:38
Do we have the knowledge and the ability to go find the answer and then make a decision quickly? 00:37:40
And all three of these combined. 00:37:46
Sorry, all three of these combined help us build trust or rebuild it if we need to. 00:37:49
And but the question I have for you guys. 00:37:54
Is which one do you think is most important? 00:37:57
And it. 00:38:00
All three are important, so I'm not asking a trick question. 00:38:00
I promise. 00:38:04
But I'm just curious where you guys are at and if, if you think being consistent and accountable is most important, would you 00:38:06
raise your hand? 00:38:10
OK. 00:38:16
What about building and good relationships? 00:38:17
I think that's most important. 00:38:21
OK. And utilizing and making good judgment. 00:38:24
OK. 00:38:27
The two of you who said that you were the first two in like 2 months that have said something about utilizing good judgment. 00:38:29
So kudos to you. 00:38:35
Is it a good thing? Yeah, yeah. It's just usually people don't think that that's the most important thing. 00:38:38
To building and rebuilding trust. So it's just interesting. 00:38:44
To see everyone's. 00:38:47
Perspectives and and what they think is different. So not good or bad, just. 00:38:49
Kudos, that's all but. 00:38:53
Similar to what council member Hernandez was saying, you know when you. 00:38:55
The suspect. 00:38:59
Somebody's body language to be hurting. You want to use good judgment when you. 00:39:00
Come in and engage with that person, particularly if if there's stress or a problem. 00:39:07
You know, 100%. 00:39:11
100%. 00:39:13
Yeah, like I said at the beginning, all three of these are important and. 00:39:14
And it's. 00:39:18
Maybe arbitrary as to which one is important. 00:39:19
But all three are important, and all three are needed and and, these researchers found. 00:39:22
That if you exhibited all three of these qualities. 00:39:28
And then your trust score was a. 00:39:30
A score of 60, which I know is not great, but that's just the score that they gave these these individuals if they exhibited. 00:39:33
Umm. 00:39:40
A desirable level of consistency, accountability, building relationships and making good judgment. 00:39:41
They give you a score of 60, but then what they wanted to do. 00:39:48
And see which one impacted trust the most. 00:39:51
And so how they did that was taking away one of these qualities. 00:39:54
To see how that impacted the trust that people were able to build or rebuild. 00:39:58
And so initially they took away. 00:40:03
And people's ability to be consistent and accountable. 00:40:05
And so they identify people who could build good relationships, make good judgment decisions. 00:40:08
And that they found that from 60 their trust score dropped 17. 00:40:13
Down to 43 points, so. 00:40:18
Not terrible, but not great. 00:40:21
And then they took away someone's ability to make. 00:40:23
And build relationships with people. 00:40:27
And found that their trust score dropped 33 points. 00:40:30
All the way down to 27 and they found that to be the biggest drop. 00:40:33
Of any of them. Obviously, if you don't have any, it's terrible, but. 00:40:38
The most impactful 1. 00:40:42
Was someone's ability to build relationships with those around them. 00:40:45
And and I agree with this and their rationale and reasoning was. 00:40:49
And. 00:40:54
Relationships give you grace when you make mistakes. 00:40:55
So an example of this might be. 00:40:59
If. 00:41:01
We thought we had all the right information. 00:41:03
And unfortunately it turned out poorly. 00:41:05
And and people have a relationship with me or I have a good relationship with them. 00:41:08
Than the narrative that those people might write. 00:41:13
In their head, isn't. 00:41:16
Or is. That's not who Jacob is. He doesn't typically make poor decisions. 00:41:18
I'm going to give him the benefit of the doubt. I'm going to give him a little bit of grace. 00:41:24
But if I don't have a relationship. 00:41:27
With the people that I'm working with and I make a mistake. 00:41:30
The narrative isn't. This isn't who Jacob is. The narrative is. 00:41:33
This is who Jacob is. He always makes mistakes. 00:41:37
This is what he's always going to do. I should be. 00:41:40
That person I should be the leader. 00:41:44
That relationship, peace, gives us grace. 00:41:46
And. 00:41:49
When I was coaching basketball. 00:41:50
If you could score 25 points in a game for me. 00:41:52
I could live with a couple turnovers I could live with. 00:41:56
Not hustling back on defense once or twice. 00:41:59
And that leash? 00:42:02
Of. 00:42:04
Or play was longer. 00:42:05
And someone who was on the bench. 00:42:08
Came off, maybe scored a pointer to a game. 00:42:10
Turn the ball over every time and I'd pull them right back out. 00:42:12
Back on the bench, where they should have stayed, right? 00:42:16
And that's what that that relationship gives us. It gives us a little bit of a longer. 00:42:19
Time. 00:42:24
Some grace if we make mistakes. 00:42:26
Now what? That doesn't mean. 00:42:28
Is because I have a relationship with you. I can just make mistakes and it's OK That's not what that means, because that 00:42:29
consistent and accountability piece will start going out the window. 00:42:34
Especially if. 00:42:39
And and my ability to demonstrate that I can make good judgment will go out the window, right. So it's not going to be that catch 00:42:40
all. 00:42:43
That just because I have a relationship with you means that I can make mistakes and here's my green light and it's OK. 00:42:47
Right. Hopefully we'll learn from those mistakes and and not make them again. 00:42:53
But that relationship builds that space for us to to make those mistakes. 00:42:56
Anybody have any comments or thoughts? 00:43:02
Behind that. 00:43:05
OK, very good. 00:43:10
All right. So here are some ways that I think we can build relationships quickly, some areas that we can focus on. 00:43:13
Number one, being able to effectively communicate. We talked about this a little bit. 00:43:21
Already if if we can effectively communicate and we can talk through situations, we can. 00:43:25
Work through things that might be hard, which leads us to be able to resolve conflict. 00:43:30
And if I don't trust people, I'm not going to trust that they're. 00:43:35
Intentions are good, or that they're trying to help me be successful, or they're trying to work through what it is that we're 00:43:38
trying to work through. 00:43:42
And helping people feel like they belong. 00:43:45
Helps us build relationships and we'll talk a little bit about the benefits of. 00:43:48
Belonging and what that does for us and what that does for our organization and then obviously integrity, we've talked about that. 00:43:52
A lot today and we'll touch a little bit on that. 00:44:00
But just some things about communication that I want to touch on. 00:44:03
We were talking with a a client earlier today actually. 00:44:07
About some an issue that couple members of their Public Works department were having with each other. 00:44:12
Um, one was saying one thing. 00:44:19
In other words, saying something else. 00:44:21
And it made me think of a quote. 00:44:23
And that says that the single biggest problem with or the greatest illusion? Excuse me. 00:44:25
About communication is that it has taken place. 00:44:32
If if we think communication is happened but it really hasn't, it leads to a lot of problems. 00:44:35
So if we want to make sure or ensure that communication does happen. 00:44:41
For me there are 4 components of that. 00:44:45
Number one that that message needs to be sent. 00:44:48
Right now I'm sending a message to you guys. 00:44:52
And whether we're listening or not, I'm still sending it right? You guys, through your body language, are sending me a message, 00:44:55
right? I can. 00:44:59
I can gather pretty quickly if if you're agreeing with what I'm saying, if you're disagreeing with what I'm saying. 00:45:03
And if you're thinking about something like, I can see body language gives us away, right? But. 00:45:10
We we're we're sending that message, that second piece. 00:45:16
Is that message needs to be received? 00:45:19
And I I can talk. 00:45:22
To a wall, and that wall is never gonna receive my message. 00:45:24
Sometimes I feel that way with my 8 year old and I can talk to her and. 00:45:27
Just she doesn't ever receive it. 00:45:31
That third piece is that message is understood. 00:45:34
And there's two pieces to that, number one. 00:45:36
I need to be able to clearly communicate what the message I'm trying to share is so it can be easily understood. 00:45:40
But the receiver of that message. 00:45:47
Is to ask questions to clarify. 00:45:50
To ensure that they understand what the message is that I'm sharing, so it's. 00:45:53
It's a two person. 00:45:57
There's two roles in that. 00:45:59
What this doesn't mean? 00:46:01
Is you need to agree with my message. 00:46:02
To be able to understand it, I think too often. 00:46:05
When we don't agree with somebody's message, we automatically just stop listening. 00:46:08
Right, true communication doesn't mean that we have to agree. 00:46:12
It's just that we can understand. 00:46:15
What the other person is trying to share. 00:46:17
Think back to when you were in school and my favorite. 00:46:21
All time favorite? 00:46:27
Example of this. 00:46:28
Is anytime we would have an assignment to do in the classroom. 00:46:30
I would try my best to. 00:46:34
Umm. 00:46:36
Demonstrate or show the the the process by which we are going to accomplish something in the classroom. 00:46:37
I would. 00:46:44
Say it in Spanish first, because that's what we needed to do, right? Give them the target language acquisition next, I would say 00:46:45
it in English. 00:46:48
I might show something on the board so they can see what it looked like. 00:46:52
We've worked through some examples. 00:46:55
On a piece of paper or or in a group on a whiteboard or something. 00:46:57
And then I would say, OK, does anybody have any questions? 00:47:01
And what was the answer? I got 99.99% of the time. 00:47:05
No, no questions. 00:47:10
And then what? 00:47:12
Ended up happening almost all the time. 00:47:13
About 3 minutes after we started. 00:47:16
Mr. Howe and I don't understand what we're doing. 00:47:19
Right. And so communication clearly did not. 00:47:22
Effectively happen. 00:47:25
Because they didn't understand what it was that I was expected. 00:47:27
Expecting them to do right and so. 00:47:30
As we are trying to communicate. 00:47:32
And we worked through those three things. That last one they acknowledged piece. 00:47:35
And what this looks like is. 00:47:39
And we've. 00:47:41
Communicated we we've understood each other and then we've. 00:47:43
That we've had some kind of like, I get what I'm supposed to do. I understand what you're asking me to do. 00:47:46
And we're on the same page and we can leave together. 00:47:51
Now what this might look like? 00:47:54
Maybe I'm asking Councilman Gamma to to do something, and I sent him an e-mail. Hey, I need this proposal from you. 00:47:57
By 2:00 tomorrow. 00:48:05
And I sent him an e-mail. 00:48:07
And I never hear back from him. 00:48:08
And go throughout the entire day. 00:48:10
Wondering, did he get in my e-mail? Is he going to do this? 00:48:12
O what am I going to do tomorrow morning about 9:00? 00:48:15
If he was here in the office with me. 00:48:18
And then? 00:48:20
Mosey over to his office. Hey, did you get my e-mail yesterday? 00:48:21
And he's going to say, yeah, yeah, I'm going to get it to you. 00:48:24
Right. What? 00:48:27
What would have helped avoid that situation? 00:48:28
Was just some form of acknowledgement. Hey, I got it. I understand. I'll get it to you. 00:48:31
And so that last piece just helps ensure that communication has happened. 00:48:37
To allow us to not assume. 00:48:42
That people understand or don't understand. 00:48:44
On the right. 00:48:48
I just want to highlight a couple statistics about nonverbal communication. 00:48:50
93% of our communication in situations can be nonverbal. 00:48:54
And we've talked about this a little bit today on on what people look like. 00:48:59
55% of that. 00:49:02
Is our body language, So what we look like, what our appearance is. 00:49:05
You know, like if I came in here and in shorts and flip flops and AT shirt. 00:49:09
And was trying to talk to you guys about why trust is important. That message to you would be something completely different. 00:49:13
And the message I'm sending right now, even if it was the exact same information. 00:49:19
And so it's not just how we look. 00:49:24
But what we look like as we're presenting that information. 00:49:27
And then that last. 00:49:31
Percentage, 38% of that is our tone. 00:49:32
Sometimes we can hide how we really feel with our body language. 00:49:36
We can hide our disgruntled Ness or our our inability to agree or work well. 00:49:40
But our tone always gives us away. 00:49:45
And there's a lot of tones that are frequently used in emotional situations. 00:49:48
Um, tones like. 00:49:52
Frustration. 00:49:54
Impatient tones. 00:49:56
And patronizing tones. Angry tones. 00:49:58
And those tones are hard to work with #1. 00:50:01
But they're also hard not to imitate. 00:50:05
Right, so if I. 00:50:07
I'm angry and I'm frustrated with Councilwoman Hernandez. 00:50:09
It's going to be hard for her not to use those tones back at me. 00:50:12
Because she's feeling attacked. 00:50:16
She's feeling questioned, right? And so. 00:50:18
Our our ability to be self aware of our tone helps us in situations where we're trying to communicate. 00:50:21
Effectively. 00:50:27
Any questions or comments on this please? 00:50:29
Yes, in terms of the percent, you were saying that the percent represents what it can be because. 00:50:32
All three of those numbers don't add up to 100. 00:50:38
So, yeah, so. 00:50:40
55 and 38 = 93. 00:50:42
Say that again. 00:50:45
55 + 38 = 93. Ohh. OK. So those two are part that are down from 93. OK, that explains it. Yeah. Thank you. No, thanks for bringing 00:50:46
that up. I apologize. 00:50:52
The miscommunication there. 00:50:57
No, I I see it now. I see the color too. 00:50:59
I don't. I don't normally notice color, but that's just because it's different. But. 00:51:03
Ohh, that's Matt Good. 00:51:08
That teachers are good. My my son is colorblind, so he definitely won't know the difference of the colors there. So. 00:51:10
I get it. OK, Sir. 00:51:15
Please. 00:51:18
I was working with the project manager and he would always say no there any questions? 00:51:19
Nobody would. 00:51:24
And then you go, OK, if you had a question, what would it be? And inevitably questions would start coming out and it was a really 00:51:25
effective way like OK, let's just. 00:51:30
Breakthrough This You know, like. 00:51:35
But if you had a question, what would it be? And that just reframing it like that was was really. 00:51:37
Productive for the team, yeah. 00:51:43
Yeah, oftentimes people are. 00:51:45
Weary or not wanting to be critical of situations because. 00:51:49
They don't want to damage relationships or they don't want to derail what what good has been happening? 00:51:54
And and so reframing or or putting things into perspective helps. 00:51:59
To. 00:52:04
To allow people to do that so good, please. 00:52:05
So you would say that 7% of the communication is verbal? 00:52:07
In emotional situations, 100% emotional situation, OK? 00:52:12
Thank you. 00:52:15
Just wanted to. 00:52:18
Because I I talk a lot. So I mean, yeah, I'm trying to think that maybe I don't get the message across. I need to do a better job 00:52:19
on my tone and body language and and what's interesting. And I think for all of us, we can agree to this. 00:52:25
We spend a lot of time worrying about the words we're going to say. 00:52:30
Am I going to ensure that the message I want to? 00:52:34
Convey is being conveyed. Am I? Am I picking the right words in the right order? 00:52:38
We don't always think about. 00:52:43
What we look like or how we're saying it. 00:52:44
Because that. 00:52:47
That message can be received completely different. 00:52:48
In two different tones, I'm completely opposite. 00:52:51
I My entire communication conversation is on my face. 00:52:54
What's happening and I'm terrible about it, but. 00:52:59
Something I have to fix? Yeah. 00:53:02
But, but you know, you know, and that's half the battle, right? Some people don't understand or realize. 00:53:04
How bad their tone is. 00:53:08
My I'll go home and I'll. 00:53:10
Share some kind of frustration with my wife in a negative tone. 00:53:13
And she'll say, did you say it in that tone? And I'll say, I guess, because I don't see a problem with this. 00:53:18
Right. 00:53:24
And and she'll be like, well, that was a terrible tone. So obviously they responded poorly, right? And so as I look back at the 00:53:26
situation, I think about the tone that I used with her and I'm not even. 00:53:31
Like. 00:53:37
Emotionally fired up in that moment, I'm just like, sharing. 00:53:38
Right. So if I'm even remotely. 00:53:42
Charged, Then that tone is going to be completely different and that messaging is going to be received. 00:53:44
Completely different, right? Think about when we first started using e-mail. 00:53:49
And and and and What did the words look like? 00:53:53
When we first started using e-mail, do you guys remember? 00:53:57
My maybe not abusive, but like on instant messenger. 00:54:01
We used all capital letters. 00:54:04
Yeah, but at the time, we weren't yelling. We just was like, this is the coolest thing ever. Like. 00:54:07
Yeah, yeah. And now if you were receiving a I'll run on paragraph in all caps. 00:54:17
You think, oh, this person's yelling at me when they might not be, but, but that's what that tone of that message is sending, 00:54:22
right? And so. 00:54:26
That tone will give us away. 00:54:30
99% of the time, so we just need to be aware. 00:54:32
Of what tone we are using. 00:54:35
Or what tone we frequently use with people. 00:54:37
My sarcastic tone I feel like, made me a successful high school teacher. 00:54:40
And because high school kids. 00:54:46
Don't know how to respond to sarcasm. 00:54:48
And so. 00:54:50
By the end of the year, though. 00:54:52
Our relationship was built on sarcasm and so they would ask me things like, are you being sarcastic right now, Mr. Hatton, or is 00:54:54
this how you really feel? So I'd have to, I'd have to tone it back and so far. 00:54:59
Tradition if our usual tone is a negative tone. 00:55:05
We might have to change it and figure out what that looks like. 00:55:08
Finding somebody? 00:55:12
Who cares about us? 00:55:13
And wants us to be successful is the best way to get feedback. 00:55:15
On our tone. 00:55:19
And like if. 00:55:20
If Mayor Martinez and I don't have a good relationship, and I ask him, Hey, how's my tone? 00:55:21
Right. He's not going to give me good advice. He's going to say, Oh yeah, it's great. 00:55:26
Right as I'm self sabotaging. 00:55:30
And ruining everything because my tone is terrible, right? So finding people. 00:55:32
Who care about us and want us to be successful is a good way to receive positive feedback on what our tone looks like. 00:55:36
OK. Any other questions? 00:55:42
Yes, ma'am. 00:55:44
So I love the comment that Councilman Gama offered. That's a little tidbit of. 00:55:46
That I'm going to take away from here if I ever am in that situation where I say, are there any questions I used to teach. 00:55:52
And that's great. I love that. 00:55:59
Well, what would you ask if you were going to ask? I love that, Yeah. 00:56:01
But. 00:56:04
In the same vein, you know when we talk about awareness is the first step. I always hear that awareness is the first step. You got 00:56:06
to be aware of your tone, yeah? 00:56:10
And I use tone a lot. Everybody here will agree that I agree to that. OK, well, thank you for not using it with me. 00:56:14
I got a little bit of tone, I think. Well, not with me, yeah, like, I don't. I don't feel negative tones. So don't always have to 00:56:20
be negative, no. 00:56:24
No, so. 00:56:27
So it's the first aware. If the the first step is awareness, what's the second step? 00:56:29
I mean, how do you control that? How if I know that I'm? 00:56:33
Being. 00:56:37
Overly excited in my delivery or my pitch is going up. 00:56:38
How do you change that? What is that? 00:56:44
How do you. Yeah, how do you like, bring it down? 00:56:46
Yes, I'm aware of it. But yeah, so I think you know. 00:56:51
I want, I want a little like Golden Nugget I can walk away with, so I can practice, yeah. 00:56:56
Ohh, watch videos of yourself. Yeah, I I I do watch council meetings. Yes, I go back so that you know, that's the self-awareness 00:57:02
and self reflection is always good. 00:57:07
Receiving feedback, I think to me kind of goes in that same vein. 00:57:13
But if it's something that we're working on, then it's setting goals. 00:57:17
And trying to be proactive on changing and then having people follow up with us, right, so. 00:57:21
If Councilman Gamer. 00:57:27
Knows well that what specific tones come out in certain situations with you. 00:57:29
And then you can tell them, hey, in this kind of situation, I want to make sure that my tone is like this and not like it 00:57:34
typically is. 00:57:37
Can you let me know what this looks like as we work through these situations? 00:57:41
That's exactly what I'm saying. That's exactly what I'm saying. 00:57:50
Jacob said. That's right. Look, way out of here and I'll never come back, so. 00:57:54
But yeah, it's just trying to find somebody who can give you that. 00:57:59
Feedback as you're trying to be intentional about it. 00:58:02
I've always been like, highly energetic from the moment I get up at 4:30 in the morning, like. 00:58:06
Discussing those weirdos? Yeah, that's chaos everywhere I go and. 00:58:12
So like recently I realized with my boss, he's not a morning person and so like I come in an hour early. 00:58:16
So that I could just play music loud and calm down a little bit because I want all excited, you know? Yeah, but. 00:58:23
It really was a problem for me because I didn't know how to use my energy. 00:58:30
Appropriately. Directed. Appropriately. Yeah, right. And sometimes, you know, being excited in the morning. 00:58:35
Would. 00:58:41
Destroy everything. Yeah. So anyway so awareness. Yes. You know. And so I I do go through this process to try and. 00:58:42
Lower my energy level. 00:58:52
For my first interaction with my boss at the morning, that's awesome and it seems to work good. 00:58:54
Ma'am. 00:59:00
You ended. 00:59:02
With be intentional and so I'd never heard anyone ask that question, Council. 00:59:05
Member Hernandez is. 00:59:11
Well, once you're aware, then what's next? 00:59:13
And I think like you said, it's really having the intention of wanting to be different. 00:59:16
And then if you have that intention, that awareness and the attention. 00:59:22
Helps you too. 00:59:27
Fix whatever it might be. 00:59:28
But if it's just awareness, then as growing up I'm the youngest of my family and. 00:59:30
I'm people tell me you're just like your father And I'm like, well, thank you. 00:59:35
Very stern, very matter of fact. 00:59:39
Aloof. Those are the words that people in the workplace would say. 00:59:42
And I'd say, well, if they just get to know me. 00:59:46
They'll know that I'm not like that, They said yeah, but they gotta get over. You're aloof and you're all this other stuff. Yeah. 00:59:49
And so I think that's the other thing. And you, you hit the nail on the head when you said. 00:59:53
It's not just about being aware, it's about wanting to do different. And I think that's kind of the next thing, yeah. 00:59:58
I always put it in the context of the risk management process and like in the first step of the risk management process, identify 01:00:06
IT awareness kind of the same thing. But then the second step, develop alternatives to deal with it and then make a selection to 01:00:12
go with one of the three alternatives and then implement it and then monitor your results and so. 01:00:19
You know, a lot of times. 01:00:25
When you go into a meeting or a situation. 01:00:27
Every every one of us is different. 01:00:30
And if I'm gonna? 01:00:33
Be dealing with Martha on an issue. I'm I'm gonna approach her differently than I. 01:00:35
Approach Mayor Martinez. 01:00:39
Because we're all different. And so sometimes, you know, that awareness thing kind of can shape the way you go about. 01:00:41
Problem solving exactly very good. 01:00:48
Umm. 01:00:53
So I have this question up here and I'm I'm going to tell you guys a story about my family. 01:00:56
It's. 01:01:02
Pretty insightful on on our relationship with my parents. 01:01:03
And what I grew up in SO. 01:01:08
Couple Christmases ago as. 01:01:10
Back home visiting my family. 01:01:13
And my mom asked my brother-in-law to cut some strawberries. 01:01:15
And that was the direction that he was given. Will you cut strawberries? 01:01:21
So based on that instruction. 01:01:25
Is there a right way to cut strawberries? 01:01:28
Based on that instruction. 01:01:31
Is there a right way? 01:01:32
Not really, right? It wasn't cut strawberries for. 01:01:34
Or make sure you catch robberies like this. It was just. 01:01:38
Cut strawberries right. 01:01:41
And so. 01:01:43
And my brother-in-law got out of a cutting board and a knife and started cutting strawberries and my. 01:01:44
Mom walked by. 01:01:51
And goes Hey, do you know there's a tool for cutting strawberries? 01:01:52
And like these, like takes off the stem and then you flip it over and it slices it perfectly. Do you want me to get that for you? 01:01:55
It's like, no, I'm fine. I'm just going to continue cutting strawberries. 01:02:02
And then, about 30 seconds later, my twin brother walked by. 01:02:05
Hey, don't you know there's we have a tool for cutting strawberries. You want me to get that for you? 01:02:10
And he's like, no, I'm, I'm OK. I'm just gonna keep cutting strawberries this way. 01:02:14
And about 30 seconds later, my little sister, his wife, walks by and says hey. 01:02:18
Here's the tool to cut strawberries. Will you use it in cut strawberries please? 01:02:23
And and so in a matter of two minutes. 01:02:26
Three different people came U to him and asked him. 01:02:30
About his way of cutting strawberries. 01:02:34
And even though they didn't ask him this or tell him this. 01:02:36
What were they telling him with those questions? 01:02:39
Doing it. 01:02:42
You're doing it wrong. 01:02:43
Right, you're doing it wrong. 01:02:45
They put on this crown. 01:02:46
Of the Paradigm universe. 01:02:48
Right Paradigm is our way of viewing the world, right? And if. 01:02:50
And if I put this crown on and I act like the king or the queen, and I'm telling everybody else. 01:02:53
Their way of doing things, their point of view, is wrong. 01:02:59
And that creates problems, obviously, right if. 01:03:02
If I continually interact with people. 01:03:06
And my way of interacting with them is telling them that they're wrong. 01:03:09
Because it's not aligned. 01:03:13
With the way that I want to do things. 01:03:15
Having a different paradigm. 01:03:18
From those that we work with every single day. 01:03:20
Is tremendously rewarding, right? If, If we think about everybody. 01:03:23
Acting and feeling the same way. 01:03:28
When we had a problem, when we have a problem or a solution that we need to come to a consensus on. 01:03:30
If we all felt the same way, what would that look like? I think we should do this. Yes, yes, yes, yes, Yes, Yes, yes. 01:03:35
Right. And there would be no adaptation or change. 01:03:41
To what that process needs to be. 01:03:44
But if we see and feel and interact and want to do things differently. 01:03:46
We're going to challenge. We're going to. 01:03:50
Adapt and we're going to make it better and the the output is going to be so much better. 01:03:52
Than what it initially came out of. 01:03:57
Because we feel and we see things differently, but if we interact. 01:03:59
And consistently tell people that they're doing things wrong because it's not aligned. 01:04:04
With our way of doing things. 01:04:08
And it doesn't help us create relationships and actually ruins the relationships. 01:04:10
Excuse me? 01:04:14
That we have. 01:04:16
Is that resonate? Does that make sense to us? Do we know people who act this way? 01:04:17
Do we like working with people that act this way? 01:04:22
I'm. I'm. 01:04:26
I'm glad your mic was off. 01:04:28
Ohh. 01:04:32
Yeah. 01:04:34
People who who live like this frequently use statements like. 01:04:36
Everyone knows the best way to. 01:04:42
There's only one right way to do this. 01:04:44
Don't you think you're making too much of this? 01:04:48
That's not what he or she meant. 01:04:50
You're you're taking this the wrong way. 01:04:53
And all of those statements are saying. 01:04:55
Your way of doing things or your way of thinking things were as wrong because it's not my way of doing things. 01:04:58
Right. And we and we all know why that is a problem. 01:05:05
And and why that creates problems and why it makes it hard for us. 01:05:07
To build relationships. 01:05:11
Always went over this. 01:05:15
Getting ahead of myself. 01:05:17
Um. 01:05:18
Another facet of effective communication is being able to effectively listen. 01:05:19
And being an active listener. 01:05:24
If we want to be an active listener, there are five things that I think we need to pay attention to for us to be successful #1. 01:05:27
Removing distractions. 01:05:34
All of you know when someone that you're working with or talking with. 01:05:37
Um picks up their phone. 01:05:40
And is working on their phone, especially on a Zoom call, right? Because we see this. 01:05:42
And we think they're frozen, right? And so we know that they're not engaged with what we're sharing. 01:05:49
Umm. 01:05:53
Maybe if if we know that a situation could be bad and we put our phone away and we put our computer away, maybe we need to get up. 01:05:55
And go to a different environment. 01:06:01
Where we won't be distracted by people to help us be a more active listener. 01:06:03
And we need to be attentive and patient, right? If someone sharing something with us, they might not be able to say it. 01:06:07
Quickly or or or the right way and we need to give them some time and grace to work through it, ask some questions, probe a little 01:06:13
bit, make sure that we're understanding what it is that they're trying to share. 01:06:18
And we just talked about paradigms. 01:06:23
But if we want to really, truly be able to listen. 01:06:25
And understand what somebody is sharing with us. We need to set our paradigm aside and try and listen. 01:06:28
Through their paradigm, we already talked about asking questions. 01:06:34
And we've talked a little bit already about providing nonverbal feedback, right? 01:06:37
And. 01:06:41
Some nods, some smiles. 01:06:42
That that helps convey that we're listening and that we're understanding. 01:06:45
And The Fifth Habit in Stephen Covey's. 01:06:50
7 Habits for highly effective people as. 01:06:54
Seek first to understand and then be understood. 01:06:56
And if all of us. 01:06:59
Adopted that mentality when we're communicating with other people. 01:07:01
A lot of good can come through our communication. 01:07:05
All right, I said. We talked about communication, about belonging. 01:07:08
So here are some statistics about. 01:07:11
Belonging that I think are insightful. 01:07:14
But also share with us how important belonging is. 01:07:17
To our workplace. 01:07:22
So we all need to feel like we belong, Yet 40% of people feel isolated at work. 01:07:23
And isolation is different than solitude. 01:07:30
Some of us choose. 01:07:33
To separate ourselves from other people and kind of be alone. 01:07:35
And that's different than isolation, which is not self-imposed, right? Other people are are isolating us. 01:07:38
Or alienating us. 01:07:45
But when people feel like they belong. 01:07:46
There's a 56% increase in job performance. 01:07:49
I'm invested in this. I I want this to be better. I understand my role. 01:07:52
I understand how my. 01:07:57
Piece or my daily routine effects. 01:07:59
The greater good. 01:08:02
There's a 50% drop in turnover. 01:08:04
And I think we can all agree the the climate of the world that we're living in. 01:08:06
Is ripe with turnover or not being able to fill positions. 01:08:11
Because of whatever the situation is, right? So if we can help people feel like they belong. 01:08:15
It can help eliminate that attrition that happens. 01:08:19
Because people don't feel like they belong. 01:08:23
A 75% reduction in sick days. 01:08:25
I'll share with you what this looks like in education. 01:08:28
Um, September, October. 01:08:32
On a Friday in in the high school I was at, we would average, I don't know, like 5 to 6. 01:08:35
People gone in September and October. 01:08:41
As the year went on, people started feeling more isolated. 01:08:44
They really feel like they belong to the the greater good. 01:08:48
And we would go maybe. 01:08:51
The last couple weeks in May into June. 01:08:54
And we would average like 50 Subs that we would need every single day on Fridays, right? And so. 01:08:58
You obviously you know how terrible that is, right? But. 01:09:04
If people don't feel like they belong. 01:09:08
And they're not feeling great. 01:09:10
When that alarm goes off Friday morning, it's really easy to say, hmm, not today. 01:09:12
And go back to sleep or. 01:09:17
I guess I'm a little sick. I'm going to stay home today, right? But if if we feel like we belong, we might power through, we might 01:09:19
push through. Those days we don't really feel like it and we might come in. 01:09:24
Then that last one, an increase in employer promoter score. What that means? 01:09:30
Is if people feel like they belong here at the city of Port Wanami. 01:09:35
Then when they go out and they interact with people from different agencies. 01:09:38
They're going to say, yeah, you should come work here because it's awesome. 01:09:42
People feel supported and they want to belong and they want to. 01:09:47
They want to feel like a part of something. 01:09:50
But if people don't feel like they belong. 01:09:52
That's not what they're going to say. 01:09:54
You know, hey I saw you have a job at Port Wine. Emy should I apply? 01:09:56
No. 01:10:00
No, you don't want to come work here. 01:10:01
In fact, do you have a job in your city and I can work with you right and so? 01:10:03
When we create that belonging, we create a space where people feel like. 01:10:07
They want to be a part of what we're trying to accomplish. 01:10:11
Um, So what? I ask of you guys. 01:10:16
And this is kind of rhetorical, so I don't need answers. 01:10:20
But in the last 90 days? 01:10:23
What have you done? 01:10:25
To help somebody feel like they belong. 01:10:27
Here. 01:10:30
What have you done? 01:10:31
To help somebody feel like they belong in your. 01:10:33
In your relationships, in your, in your job? Like what is it that you've done? 01:10:37
And then what will you do in the next 90 days? 01:10:40
To be intentional about helping somebody feel like they belong. 01:10:43
Right. And this isn't just like I'll smile at work. Like, no, like, that's like, what are you going to do to help people feel like 01:10:47
they belong? 01:10:51
Are you gonna be intentional about the conversations that you have? Are you gonna? 01:10:55
And look for ways to help and and do different things right and so. 01:10:59
Just something to think about, about creating space to help people feel like they belong. 01:11:02
Did you want us to answer that question? No, no. It's just rhetorical. I mean, you can if you want to. 01:11:08
I I would say genuinely care about the other person. 01:11:12
Whomever it is, what does that look like? 01:11:15
Feeling like. 01:11:19
They're your brother, they're your sister. There's some. They're part of your team, like they're an extension of you. 01:11:20
Actually acknowledging them like as. 01:11:25
As part of your world versus like, hey, it's that world and not my world. 01:11:28
You know. 01:11:34
So relationships are not transactional, transactional. 01:11:35
There's meaning behind it, right? And. 01:11:39
And I'm creating a space and opportunity where. 01:11:42
You feel valued, heard and important, not just. 01:11:44
Another piece in the puzzle. 01:11:47
Right. 01:11:49
Good. 01:11:51
Integrity. This is this last piece and we'll just touch on this briefly, but these are three things that we can do to help build 01:11:53
our integrity with those around us. 01:11:57
We can give honest feedback. 01:12:01
I I feel like it's hard when we're in situations. 01:12:03
That. 01:12:06
We don't want to damage relationships and so we're not completely honest with people, right? I don't know how they're going to 01:12:07
take this. I don't want to ruin the relationship that we have. 01:12:11
So I'm not going to be truthful. 01:12:15
Right. 01:12:17
And and for those of you who have had an experience with that. 01:12:18
Nine times out of 10, that comes back. 01:12:22
And we look at that as a as a time that kind of derailed. 01:12:25
What it was that we were trying to accomplish. 01:12:29
Rather than. 01:12:32
Taking those five to 10 minutes of awkwardness. 01:12:33
And improving the situation. 01:12:36
Being transparent and authentic. 01:12:39
And it kind of goes hand in hand with that, that previous comment and then benevolence, we're just being kind, right, being kind 01:12:41
to those around us. 01:12:44
Helping them feel like they're valued and important. 01:12:48
Goes a long way. 01:12:50
And in that piece of being genuine, right, everyone can tell when you're just. 01:12:52
Being kind to check the box. 01:12:56
But if we're being kind and genuinely kind. 01:12:58
And it helps people feel like they that that they belong. 01:13:01
OK. 01:13:06
Do we need to take a a break at all? We do. We feeling good? 01:13:07
Yeah, yeah. 01:13:14
Yeah, for sure. We'll, we'll wait for you for sure. 01:13:15
I'm looking that coffee. 01:13:21
So. 01:13:23
Where do you get this? 01:13:23
This is this. Obviously it's not a PowerPoint, but. 01:13:24
Is this like a template that you're using for this production or? 01:13:29
Umm. 01:13:33
It's created on a website called Canva. It's called Canva Canva. Yeah, it's definitely like it it really. 01:13:35
Really forces you to minimize your. 01:13:42
Words, yes. 01:13:45
Yeah, well. 01:13:46
What's it called again? Canva. Canva like canvas but without the S? 01:13:47 01:13:53
I do a lot of trainings. 01:13:55
Beacon on Fridays sanitation meeting. You had that, No, I don't know why. This is my country because they're normally they cancel. 01:14:25
That's right. 01:14:37
OK. 01:20:10
All right. 01:20:12
So when we're talking about good judgment for me, there are four kind of different areas that we can identify. 01:20:13
That help us develop or can we can identify that or show? 01:20:19
That we can utilize and make good judgment decisions. On the left, we have people seek our opinion. 01:20:23
What that means is. 01:20:28
If we make good decisions, people want. 01:20:30
To know what we would do in certain situations because that helps them. 01:20:32
Make better decisions for themselves, right? 01:20:37
Think about a mentor or somebody that you would go to frequently when you first started it in your role. 01:20:40
Who is someone you would go to? You knew? 01:20:45
That they would give you the right answer, or if it wasn't the right answer, it would stimulate something. 01:20:48
That would help you make the right decision. 01:20:53
And we can demonstrate our good judgment through our knowledge and expertise. And if I have. 01:20:55
Adequate knowledge and expertise. I can usually make good decisions. 01:21:02
And I I have a time that I've spent doing something where I have the training that has given me the ability to. 01:21:06
To make these good decisions. 01:21:11
And that kind of goes with that bottom right one and that next one. 01:21:13
I I can anticipate and respond to situations quickly. 01:21:17
So even if I don't have the right answer. 01:21:20
I can anticipate something and and I can respond quickly. 01:21:23
And then I have the ability to to just do the right things and and people can see. 01:21:27
That I can do the right things and that demonstrates my ability to make good decisions. 01:21:31
Umm. 01:21:36
It's very easy for us to recognize when someone doesn't have. 01:21:38
Good judgment because they frequently make poor decisions. 01:21:41
And they frequently make the wrong choice. 01:21:44
And they give the task to the wrong person because they don't know the people that they're working with well. 01:21:47
And if if my strength is not interacting with people. 01:21:52
And my boss continually gives me tasks and jobs that require me to interact with people. 01:21:55
I'm not going to perform well. 01:22:01
And I'm and I'm not going to enjoy. 01:22:02
Working with that boss because they're giving me opportunities to be unsuccessful. 01:22:05
And the flip side of that is maybe they're giving me those to to grow and to. 01:22:10
And to change. 01:22:14
But without properties, proper scaffolding and support it's going to be hard for me to do that. 01:22:15
Here are some questions that you can kind of answer for yourself. 01:22:21
You don't need to answer these out loud, but these are questions that you can ask yourself. 01:22:25
About your ability or inability. 01:22:29
To make or utilize good judgment. OK, so this first question Do you agree or disagree? 01:22:31
My decisions reflect the goals of my team, department, agency. 01:22:36
Council, city, etcetera. 01:22:41
Right if. If. 01:22:43
Um, your decisions reflect that, and it's. 01:22:44
Good. 01:22:47
If they don't, reflect that. 01:22:48
Then it's going to be hard for you to make good decisions that reflect the good for the agency or group that you're a part of. 01:22:50
This next one, do you agree or disagree? I articulate why I make. 01:22:56
Certain decisions and actions regularly. 01:23:01
This isn't. 01:23:05
Because people need you to. 01:23:07
And oftentimes when we make decisions, people want to know why. So can you share why you made certain decisions? 01:23:09
Can you? 01:23:16
I don't want to say justify, but can you demonstrate why you chose the decision that you chose and that helps other people 01:23:17
understand? 01:23:20
Where you're coming from? 01:23:23
And make informed decisions accurately in a timely manner. 01:23:25
I think manner those are I think 2 pieces. 01:23:28
I can make decisions quickly. 01:23:31
Right, that's part of it. 01:23:33
But if I take too long to make a decision because I'm so worried about finding the wrong answer. 01:23:35
Are making the wrong decision. 01:23:40
And that's going to work against me. 01:23:41
I know where I where to go to find information I need to do my job so if I don't have the skills or the. 01:23:44
The repertoire or the ability to do that? Do I have someone that I can go to? 01:23:50
Are there resources that at my disposal that I can find these answers and then make this decision quickly? 01:23:54
When someone questions me, I second guess my decision. 01:24:00
And we all do this right? 01:24:03
But is this something that we do frequently do, or do we have conviction in the decisions that we make? 01:24:05
I am swayed easily. 01:24:11
Right. And so if you're trying to make a decision, can people come and and change your mind easily or or can you make a decision 01:24:13
and and stick to it because you know it's the right decision? 01:24:17
And then last, I review my decisions, actions and their effects regularly. 01:24:22
Right. So do I look back on the decision that I make or we talked earlier about? 01:24:26
At the time we had all the right information and now we know it's not right. 01:24:30
But do I reflect back on that? Is there something I could have done differently? 01:24:34
To get the right information or to change the trajectory of of the decision of the project that I'm working on? 01:24:38
And all of these kind of go in and and help us. 01:24:44
Do this so if if we're saying. 01:24:47
Agree to most of these. 01:24:49
And granted, we have to take it with a grain of salt because it's our own self diagnosis, right? And oftentimes we're not. 01:24:52
As hard on ourselves as others might be. 01:24:57
Or as we should be. 01:25:00
But if we're saying yes to most of these, it's probably a good indicator that we have good judgment. 01:25:01
We're saying no to most of these. 01:25:06
Um. Or to some of these? 01:25:08
This is identifying some areas of some ways that we can improve. 01:25:10
Or some areas that we can focus on to improve our good judgment. 01:25:13
And being consistent and accountable. This is that last piece. 01:25:19
Do we walk the walk? 01:25:23
Right. So if I'm asking people to do something, am I willing to do it myself? 01:25:24
And we all know those people who say. 01:25:29
Don't do as I say and don't do as I do, but I want you to do it. 01:25:32
Because I need you to do it, but I'm not going to do that right. It's really hard to. 01:25:36
To follow somebody that's doing that. 01:25:40
On our commitments and keep promises. 01:25:42
If we had a team of 20 people that we were working with. 01:25:45
And we treated 16 people differently than four, right? So. 01:25:49
Four people kind of got to do whatever they wanted got away with. 01:25:53
And not being held accountable, didn't get reprimanded for making mistakes, whatever it was. 01:25:57
And 16 people did. 01:26:02
And what's going to start happening to those 16 people? 01:26:04
Are they going to continue to do? 01:26:07
And. 01:26:09
What they are supposed to be doing. 01:26:10
Frequently. No. 01:26:13
They're going to stop doing what they're supposed to be doing. It's going to reduce the morale of the group. 01:26:14
And it's going to increase the amount of people who aren't. 01:26:19
Falling in line and it's going to ruin the culture that we have. 01:26:22
There's a a statement that a a head coach that I used to work with used frequently and it was. 01:26:26
That which you ignore, you allow. 01:26:31
And so if we see behavior happening. 01:26:33
We don't say anything. 01:26:35
Essentially what we're saying is I'm, I'm OK with it happening. 01:26:36
Even if we're not, but if we see something and don't. 01:26:39
Do anything about it? 01:26:42
Or allowing that behavior to happen. 01:26:44
And so when we're we're helping people be consistent and accountable. 01:26:46
And if we see something, we act, we do. 01:26:50
Try and change that behavior. 01:26:53
And then last, we're willing to go above and beyond, right? We're not just. 01:26:55
Here for the what's expected of me and nothing more, but we're willing to do more. 01:26:58
And and help other people be accountable to that as well. 01:27:02
OK, here's a question for us that I want us to talk with the person next to you. 01:27:07
And in these areas. 01:27:13
Can I build trust quickly at work if so? 01:27:16
How can I build trust quickly at work? 01:27:21
And I don't want you to say no, because the answer is yes, and you can build trust quickly at work. 01:27:23
So how can we build trust quickly at work? 01:27:29
In these three areas. 01:27:31
OK. 01:27:33
Gonna give you guys a minute and 1/2. 01:27:33
Mark Seco. 01:27:36
Hmm. 01:27:43
Agree. 01:27:49
It's different. 01:27:50
OK. 01:28:46
Does anybody have an idea on how we can build trust quickly at work within relationships? 01:28:50
Anybody have any ideas? 01:28:56
So you're not in your head. 01:29:00
OK, what's one of them? 01:29:03
Communication, OK. 01:29:06
It goes back to what we said in the beginning. 01:29:08
Um, communication, transparency, being collaborative, honesty, and having accountability. 01:29:11
Yeah. 01:29:17
And it takes. 01:29:18
A little bit of effort to communicate. 01:29:20
But communication goes a long way with building trust. 01:29:22
The back communication starts wars. 01:29:26
That's very true. 01:29:28
And the illusion of communication ruins everything. 01:29:29
Very good. 01:29:32
Any other thoughts? 01:29:33
And building trust within relationships quickly. 01:29:35
Let's go to the idea of meeting somebody for the first time. 01:29:39
Whether it's a workplace or a club or something. 01:29:44
Is communicating has Mayor Pro Tem mentioned. 01:29:47
But getting to know them, Letting them know that you're interested in in learning about them, asking questions about what they 01:29:52
like, what their interests are, and finding some commonality. 01:29:57
Being genuine. 01:30:02
And being a kind person. 01:30:03
Yeah, very good. 01:30:05
Any other thoughts? 01:30:06
I can repeat if you don't want to come up to the mic. 01:30:08
OK. 01:30:13
What about making and utilizing good judgment? Are there ways we can do that to help us build trust quickly at work? 01:30:14
As we all know, right? 01:30:33
Any ideas on building relational trust quickly in? 01:30:37
In judgment. 01:30:41
OK. 01:30:50
Yeah. 01:30:52
Sure. Are they following through on their commitments? How do they treat other people? 01:30:58
Yeah. 01:31:03
Are they being accountable? Very good. 01:31:04
Which leads us to our next one of consistency. 01:31:06
Right, are we? 01:31:09
Interacting consistently with those around us, right? It's. 01:31:11
It's very easy. 01:31:14
Especially if you're on the outside looking in. 01:31:15
To to to see that people are not being consistent, right, please. 01:31:18
Think we all may relate to this, but umm. 01:31:23
In just about every relationship. 01:31:27
Professional or otherwise. 01:31:30
You run into someone who's, you know, difficult. And ohh, that's just so and so he doesn't mean it. Just, you know. 01:31:32
And it's like, well, wait a minute. 01:31:39
You know that behavior is is not good. 01:31:41
Ohh. But that's just that's just how he is. Yeah, let it go, right. 01:31:44
You know it's I find that. 01:31:49
Difficult sometimes to like. 01:31:50
Wait a minute. 01:31:52
We're taught we're getting what we tolerate. 01:31:54
And that's, I think you said it differently, but yeah, basically you get what you tolerate and so sometimes. 01:31:56
You know, the communication piece is like, hey, you know. 01:32:02
Not quite. 01:32:05
Yeah. 01:32:07
Yeah, exactly, exactly. Here are some areas that I kind of thought on ways that we can build our trust within those areas. 01:32:08
Kindness. Being approachable. Just being kind. 01:32:17
Is a way that we can start. 01:32:19
To build out those relationships and build trust within that. 01:32:21
Within those relationships. 01:32:24
And we can increase our knowledge and expertise which will help us make. 01:32:26
More informed and better decisions. 01:32:30
And then last. 01:32:32
We want to improve our credibility and our ability, right? So if I'm saying I'm going to do something, start doing it right away. 01:32:34
But I I don't. 01:32:40
I don't. 01:32:41
Say something and then do something completely different, right? And that's gonna that's ways that we can start demonstrating. 01:32:43
That we want to build trust. 01:32:48
Alright, there is a. 01:32:51
Motivational, Inspirational, transformational speaker. Whatever you want. 01:32:56
Whatever adjective you want to use. 01:33:00
His name is Simon Sinek. Have you guys heard of this guy? 01:33:02
He gives frequent Ted talks. 01:33:05
Yeah, yeah. And. And one of the talks that he gives, well, he gives a lot of talks. 01:33:08
But one of them he focuses on building and and and trusting and creating trust and relationships. 01:33:12
And I'm going to kind of walk you through his. 01:33:18
And analogy of trust. And So what he wanted to do was identify. 01:33:21
The groups that had. 01:33:25
The most trust in the world? 01:33:27
And find qualities and traits that that set them apart from other people. 01:33:29
And the the team or group of people that he identified. 01:33:33
As having some of the most trust. 01:33:37
Are SEAL teams Navy SEAL teams? 01:33:40
And. 01:33:43
And he. 01:33:44
Tried to. 01:33:46
Graph out what their trust looked like for them. 01:33:47
Um, Their trust was. 01:33:51
This is good. Like their performance, are they able to accomplish the task? Can I trust you within your task? 01:33:54
Can I trust you with my life? 01:34:00
Right. That's what they're kind of referring to. 01:34:03
And then like this trust. Do I trust you with my wife? 01:34:05
Right. So there's there's different trusts there. 01:34:08
Your wife like. 01:34:11
Like it's not job performance related, but can I trust you? 01:34:13
Outside of that, right. So there's. 01:34:16
There's job trust and then there's relationship trust. So you clearly cannot be trusted with the laser pointer. 01:34:18
No, I can't. But like, this is this is fun, right? 01:34:26
I don't know it's on here. 01:34:30
I don't know. It's cool, but anyway so. 01:34:32
Sorry for distraction. Anyway, So what he what he was looking at was if you had high performance. 01:34:35
And high trust, obviously that's sought after, right? But in work typically we're not. 01:34:41
Trusting people with our life. 01:34:51
And hopefully we're not trusting people. 01:34:54
With our wife or our spouse, right? Hopefully that's not the type of work relationships that we have, right? But are we trusting? 01:34:57
As our job performance where it needs to be. 01:35:04
And are we trusting people? 01:35:06
That we work with. 01:35:08
OK. 01:35:10
O like I said. 01:35:10
Obviously somebody who has low performance and low trust. 01:35:12
Not a good leader, not somebody that we're looking for, right? On SEAL teams, it's exactly the same. 01:35:16
They don't want their leader to have low trust. 01:35:23
Low performance. 01:35:25
The ideal candidate to be a leader on the SEAL team. 01:35:27
With someone with high performance. 01:35:30
I trust again this makes sense to us, right? 01:35:32
If you get the job done and people trust you. 01:35:35
Usually, you're a good leader. 01:35:37
What they identified and what was interesting in their their research and their. 01:35:40
Their findings was people with high performance. 01:35:44
And low trust. 01:35:47
Were actually more detrimental to the team. 01:35:49
And somebody with medium performance and high trust. 01:35:53
And even somebody who had. 01:35:57
Low performance and high trust. 01:35:59
The the SEAL teams preferred leaders if they couldn't be this one. 01:36:02
They preferred medium performance but high trust or low performance. 01:36:06
But high trust over somebody. 01:36:11
With high performance and low trust. 01:36:13
Why? 01:36:16
There's a lot of reasons. 01:36:17
Right. But if we're taking this to the workplace? 01:36:19
Right. Somebody with high performance. 01:36:23
And low trust. 01:36:25
This is the jerk of the office. 01:36:27
They get things done. 01:36:29
But they don't really care how they get things done right. 01:36:31
Yeah. 01:36:34
And they just kind of. 01:36:35
Bulldozed through situations, Bulldozed through people. 01:36:37
And what's hard? 01:36:41
Is there are tons of metrics to reward those people? 01:36:42
Right. Their job performance, their acquisitions, their. 01:36:46
They're revenue generated, right? And so when they're interviewing for jobs. 01:36:49
Those people can demonstrate. Look at my abilities, look at my skills. Obviously I make a good leader. 01:36:53
And those people get promoted. 01:36:59
But there are not metrics. 01:37:01
For these people who may be maybe don't perform as well. 01:37:03
But the trust that they have with the people around them is really, really high. 01:37:07
And so these people oftentimes don't get promoted. 01:37:11
Because we have no way to measure. 01:37:14
Their impact on an organization. 01:37:17
O when we're thinking about. 01:37:19
And the people that were working with, the people that were celebrating, are we finding ways to celebrate? 01:37:21
These people over here who have high trust. 01:37:27
Maybe their performance isn't as high. 01:37:30
Right. But are we finding ways to identify these people and get them to lead? 01:37:32
And get them to be the ones who help change what it is that we want to change within our organization because they're going to get 01:37:37
people to believe and to buy in. 01:37:41
Think about a time that you've had to affect change within your organization at some point. 01:37:47
If you can get people. 01:37:53
On your side, who people believe in? 01:37:55
It's going to be a lot easier to get the people who don't believe in you to believe in what you're trying to accomplish. It's that 01:37:58
same concept, right? So. 01:38:03
All that being said, what are we doing to help these people? 01:38:08
To demonstrate this, trust. 01:38:12
And that's always celebrate the people who get the job done but are jerks along the way. 01:38:14
Just some thoughts some. 01:38:19
Some, some, some time to reflect and think about what it is that we're doing within our organization. 01:38:21
And. 01:38:27
In an interest of time and. 01:38:28
And kind of how I'm feeling the vibe, we're going to skip this activity. Are you guys OK with that? 01:38:30
Yeah, good. 01:38:35
Um, so how do I know if the people that I'm working with trust me? 01:38:36
Here are some questions that you can ask yourself. 01:38:41
And kind of read through those to see if the people around you trust you. 01:38:44
Right. If if colleagues come to you and share their opinions with you, and coworkers come to you in situations of crisis and need 01:38:49
and and you can read the rest. 01:38:52
But if you're answering yes to these questions, and I know this isn't perfect. 01:38:57
But if you're answering yes to these, it's a pretty good indicator. 01:39:01
That the people around you trust you. 01:39:04
Umm. 01:39:06
That doesn't mean like this. Let's see where we at. 01:39:08
That do people confide in you, then they're not going to be telling you their life stories, right? But if I'm struggling or I need 01:39:11
help and I trust you. 01:39:15
I'm going to go to you and I'm going to let you know about it. 01:39:20
But if I don't trust you, I'm not going to. 01:39:22
Just as important as it is for us. 01:39:26
To have the trust of those that we're working with is. 01:39:28
We need to demonstrate that we trust the people that we're working in. So if we flip these questions around. 01:39:31
It's a good indicator if. 01:39:37
To demonstrate if we trust the people that we're working with. 01:39:39
So we'll change the questions up just a little bit. Do I share my opinions with my colleagues? 01:39:42
Do I go to my coworkers in situations of crisis or need? 01:39:48
And if you can say yes to these questions. 01:39:52
And. 01:39:54
It's a pretty a. 01:39:55
Pretty good indicator that you trust the people that you're working with. 01:39:56
But if you don't answer yes to these questions. 01:40:00
Then it's probably a good indicator that you don't trust the people that you're working with. So is that is that a you thing? Is 01:40:03
that something that needs to change with them? 01:40:07
I don't know the answer to that question. Maybe you don't know the answer to that question. 01:40:12
But it's something to think about, right? Just as important as it is. 01:40:15
To have trust. 01:40:19
We need to receive, we need to give that trust. 01:40:20
Back to those that we work with as well. 01:40:23
The hard part is we don't always understand the impact that we're having on other people. 01:40:27
Our self-awareness might not be. 01:40:33
What it needs to be for us to be successful. 01:40:35
So we're going to do a fun little experiment with self-awareness right now, OK? 01:40:38
I have. 01:40:42
Five different sets of words. 01:40:43
And you are going to rate yourself on this spectrum? 01:40:46
Umm. 01:40:49
And then what's going to happen is you're going to turn to someone next to you and we're going to go through the same words. 01:40:50
And then they're gonna rate you on these same 5 words. 01:40:55
OK. 01:40:59
This makes sense. 01:41:00
O, what's going to happen is we're going to this is just pretend, this is just an example. 01:41:01
But if the words are reserved and talkative. 01:41:06
Then somewhere along this spectrum you find yourself from one being super reserved. 01:41:09
To attend being super talkative. 01:41:14
So if this is the first one, then you'd give yourself a one through 10. 01:41:16
To represent your. 01:41:22
Talking Ness. 01:41:25
That makes sense. 01:41:26
OK, so maybe you're on the quieter side, but you still chat with coworkers during lunch, so you give yourself A4. 01:41:27
OK. 01:41:33
So there's five of these. 01:41:34
And I want you to write these down either on. 01:41:36
Piece of paper in your phone and your notes a whatever. 01:41:38
But you need to be able to have these so you can reference them. 01:41:41
When we finish, OK, once we finish the five words, then you're going to identify somebody that is in this room that is going to 01:41:45
rate you. 01:41:50
And this same exact words and then at the end we're going to talk back. 01:41:55
And see how. 01:41:59
Self aware we are of ourselves. OK, does this make sense? 01:42:00
Is everybody ready? 01:42:04
OK. 01:42:06
All right, so on a scale of 1 to 10. 01:42:08
Do you find yourself being a pushover? 01:42:10
Or do you find yourself being a bulldozer, so just write the number down? 01:42:13
Where you think you are. 01:42:17
You're at work. 01:42:19
Not outside of work, because maybe the people that were are here. 01:42:21
Don't know you outside of work, but how do people feel? 01:42:24
How do you think people, how do you see yourself? You're at work? 01:42:27
OK, so you just write number one through 10. 01:42:31
Everybody good? 01:42:34
I'm assuming yes, OK. 01:42:37
Here at work, do you consider yourself to be a non communicator? 01:42:40
Or do you consider yourself to be an over communicator? 01:42:44
Do you consider yourself to be insecure here at work, or do you consider yourself to be arrogant? 01:42:57
You're at work. 01:43:03
And I know this is rough and it's not perfect, so I apologize, but. 01:43:05
We'll have some fun with it. 01:43:09
OK. 01:43:10
#4 01:43:13
Do you consider yourself to be a trusting person? 01:43:14
Or you can see yourself to be a skeptical person. 01:43:17
OK. 01:43:24
And last but not least, do you consider yourself to be an introverted person? 01:43:27
Or do you consider yourself to be an extroverted person? 01:43:31
Introverted being you find and gain energy from being alone. 01:43:35
Extroverted. You get energy from being around other people. That's a good. 01:43:39
Designation between the two. OK, so on your. 01:43:44
Device on your piece of paper you should have 5 numbers. 01:43:47
Anybody missing? 01:43:50
5 numbers. 01:43:51
OK. 01:43:55
Right. So I want you to find somebody in this room. 01:43:56
And you're going to evaluate them. 01:44:00
OK, so. 01:44:03
If we have to do a group of three, we can do a group of three.