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I need to speak. | 00:00:01 | |
Welcome everyone to the City Council special meeting. | 00:00:03 | |
I'm calling this meeting to order. The time is now 3:00 PM. | 00:00:08 | |
Madam Clerk, can you please take roll? | 00:00:12 | |
Council Member Gamma. | 00:00:15 | |
Here Council Member Hernandez here. Council Member McQueen Lujan here. | 00:00:17 | |
Mayor Pro Tem Perez and Mayor Martinez, President. | 00:00:22 | |
We will now hear public comments. Some participants please use the Raise Your Hand feature if you'd like to comment. You will have | 00:00:26 | |
3 minutes to provide comments, Madam Clerk. | 00:00:30 | |
Does anyone have a public comment tonight or today? There are no public comments. | 00:00:34 | |
OK. | 00:00:39 | |
Feels like we were just here yesterday. | 00:00:40 | |
Ohh. | 00:00:43 | |
I will now turn it over to our presenter. Our first business item is Governance Role Training Session 3. | 00:00:45 | |
Do I get more than 3 minutes? | 00:00:53 | |
Yes, you. You. | 00:00:55 | |
Definitely get just a little bit more than 3 minutes. OK. Well, thank you guys for being here today. I do have to admit that. | 00:00:58 | |
It's going to be really awkward standing here looking at you, but we're going to make it work and it's going to be awesome. | 00:01:05 | |
That's even worse. | 00:01:11 | |
That's even worse, I think. | 00:01:13 | |
I'm used to training and walking around, so. | 00:01:14 | |
I apologize if I start doing this, so just. | 00:01:18 | |
Like let me know. | 00:01:21 | |
OK. I like it. Expectations are good. Please stay close to the mic. | 00:01:23 | |
As long as we know the expectation, right. OK. So today we're going to be talking about. | 00:01:29 | |
Harnessing the power to lead building and rebuilding trust in your role as a leader. | 00:01:35 | |
Do you guys have this in front of you? | 00:01:40 | |
Or OK. OK, good. | 00:01:42 | |
And so the whole idea of this training for me. | 00:01:43 | |
Um, started. | 00:01:48 | |
I guess so. I'll I'll give you a little bit background about myself. I'm a former high school administrator and a high school | 00:01:52 | |
teacher and a high school coach. | 00:01:55 | |
And so every single September, August year. | 00:02:00 | |
Starting of school year, I would have to rebuild trust or start building trust. | 00:02:05 | |
With anywhere from 100 and. | 00:02:10 | |
80 to 230 people. | 00:02:13 | |
On day one, right. And start and get there. Especially because, shocker, I taught high school Spanish, which doesn't really feel | 00:02:16 | |
like something I should teach, right? And so. | 00:02:21 | |
Back to school night. Always was. Hey, I'm looking for my kids. Spanish teacher. It's me. I know. Yeah, it's it's hard to believe, | 00:02:27 | |
right? | 00:02:30 | |
And so, day one. | 00:02:34 | |
My kids would come into the class and it was all about starting to build trust. | 00:02:36 | |
And get them to believe in. | 00:02:41 | |
Not only do I know what I'm doing, but believe in the process and the and the way that I want them to be successful in my | 00:02:42 | |
classroom. | 00:02:46 | |
Likewise teaching kids how to play basketball. | 00:02:50 | |
And and coaching them. | 00:02:53 | |
I needed them to trust in me that the plays that. | 00:02:55 | |
I was developing and drawing up for them. We're going to work. | 00:03:00 | |
Their role on the team was something that had value and I needed them to believe in that process. | 00:03:03 | |
And understanding that. | 00:03:08 | |
The whole process isn't just one little set time. | 00:03:11 | |
It's a it's a a long season and that trust needs to be built so that we can all work forward together. | 00:03:16 | |
And so, as as I've kind of had those experiences in the back of my mind. | 00:03:22 | |
It came together in this training and. | 00:03:27 | |
And for me, all of us. | 00:03:29 | |
Need to build trust, whether it's with community members, with the people we work with. | 00:03:32 | |
And strengthen what we have. | 00:03:37 | |
Or. | 00:03:39 | |
If we've had unfortunate situations where we've lost that trust. | 00:03:39 | |
To build that back up. | 00:03:43 | |
I think what's hard is a lot of us assume and think that. | 00:03:45 | |
Once we lose trust, we can't get it back again. And I think that's a sentiment that a lot of us feel, especially if. | 00:03:49 | |
It's one that. | 00:03:56 | |
Might have damaged the relationship pretty hard. | 00:03:57 | |
Um, but I I feel that we can. | 00:04:00 | |
Build and rebuild that trust back to what it used to. | 00:04:03 | |
What it was, hopefully. | 00:04:06 | |
But at least start that process to get it back and start working towards what it used to be. | 00:04:08 | |
Maybe stronger, maybe not as strong, but it, it can be rebuilt. So we're going to talk a little bit about that today. | 00:04:13 | |
Also some of the ways that trust can be ruined by us. | 00:04:19 | |
And and and kind of avoiding some of those and and working through that together. | 00:04:24 | |
Umm. | 00:04:28 | |
When we think about trust and we think about our role as leaders, there's there's two different styles of leadership that I need | 00:04:30 | |
us to think about #1, the authority to lead and that authority to lead comes from. | 00:04:35 | |
That title or position that we have right if if I'm. | 00:04:41 | |
City manager people have to do what I ask them to do because. | 00:04:45 | |
I'm in charge, right? And. | 00:04:50 | |
And that title gives me that ability to do that. | 00:04:51 | |
The difference between the power to lead. | 00:04:54 | |
Comes from people who believe in what I'm trying to do. | 00:04:57 | |
And so they will do what I asked them to do, not because they have to. | 00:05:00 | |
But because they want to. | 00:05:04 | |
And so when we're talking about trust and we're talking about this process of of leadership. | 00:05:06 | |
REST helps us get people to believe in us and it gives us that power to lead and I know. | 00:05:12 | |
Power to lead can kind of sound like. | 00:05:17 | |
A weird way to say that because. | 00:05:19 | |
I don't want to use my. | 00:05:22 | |
Unrighteous dominion, I guess, on people, but. | 00:05:25 | |
It's it's that ability to give people and empower people to to do an act. | 00:05:28 | |
And to believe in what they're doing and believe in what we're doing. | 00:05:33 | |
So as we. | 00:05:36 | |
Work through this today and talk about some of these things. All of this is going to help us. | 00:05:37 | |
Get to a position in a place where we can. | 00:05:42 | |
Build that trust and build that. | 00:05:45 | |
That buy in to get people to follow and do. | 00:05:47 | |
Because they want to, not because they have to. | 00:05:50 | |
And when I define trust, I define trust as a belief in the ability, integrity, and character of another person. | 00:05:55 | |
Has anybody been skydiving before? | 00:06:04 | |
How many times have you missed skydiving? | 00:06:08 | |
Just a couple. OK. More than once then. | 00:06:11 | |
OK. | 00:06:15 | |
And when you went for the first time. | 00:06:16 | |
Can you share a little bit about? | 00:06:19 | |
Your interaction with your diving buddy that was you were strapped to, what was that? | 00:06:22 | |
Process for you like. | 00:06:26 | |
Did you trust him right away? Like how, how, how did that all? | 00:06:29 | |
Work with trust. | 00:06:33 | |
OK. | 00:06:39 | |
That definitely trusted the person that was there. If not. | 00:06:44 | |
I would, you know. | 00:06:47 | |
I wouldn't go when jump out of a plane, right? Don't jump out of a plane. | 00:06:49 | |
Right. And if we think about this, right, let's all pretend that. | 00:06:53 | |
Instead of listening to me for the next however long I'm going to be talking for. | 00:06:56 | |
I'll keep that a secret, right? So you guys can't like. | 00:07:00 | |
Watch the clock and wait with anticipation. But if we were going skydiving right now. | 00:07:03 | |
And you had a choice between instructors? | 00:07:08 | |
You would probably not choose the instructor who said. | 00:07:12 | |
Today's my first day. | 00:07:15 | |
And you're my first person that I'm jumping with. | 00:07:17 | |
Right. | 00:07:20 | |
But you would be more likely to choose somebody who said, yeah, this is jump 5000 for me. Like I'm in it. This is what I do every | 00:07:20 | |
single day. | 00:07:24 | |
You'll ask questions on his or her ability, like, talk to me about this. Tell me what this does. | 00:07:28 | |
And if the parachute collapses, what do we do? | 00:07:33 | |
Right. We're trying to figure out a little bit about his or her ability to keep us safe. | 00:07:36 | |
And that next one, the integrity that we feel will ask different questions and. | 00:07:41 | |
And see how here he how he or she responds. | 00:07:46 | |
And what type of responses they get? Are they telling the truth? | 00:07:49 | |
And are they not telling the truth? | 00:07:53 | |
And then as we continue to ask questions, we'll get an idea if they care about us. | 00:07:55 | |
They want us to have fun. They want us to be safe. | 00:08:00 | |
And all three of those things go into helping us trust. | 00:08:03 | |
The person that we're going to jump out of a plane with, right we. | 00:08:06 | |
Probably have never met them before. | 00:08:10 | |
But we're trusting them with our life. | 00:08:12 | |
10,000 feet or however high you jump out of a plane from 18,018 thousand. OK, so 8000 more feet. | 00:08:15 | |
It. I don't even like seconds to to be scared, but. | 00:08:21 | |
Still scary, right? And so. | 00:08:25 | |
Trust can be created. | 00:08:27 | |
And very quickly and I think for a lot of us we think. | 00:08:30 | |
Trust takes a long time to build, and it takes a long time for us to get to where. | 00:08:34 | |
I can trust you as my life, but as we've seen. | 00:08:38 | |
Skydiving is an an incident where we need trust immediately and it's something that we can build. | 00:08:42 | |
And it's through our ability, our integrity and our character that we can demonstrate that to others. | 00:08:48 | |
And as we work through scenario situations with people. | 00:08:53 | |
And we give them opportunities to see our abilities. | 00:08:57 | |
And we were just talking about. | 00:09:00 | |
A beach cleanup. | 00:09:03 | |
Right. And if we were in charge of a beach cleanup and. | 00:09:05 | |
We dropped the ball. We didn't bring the right supplies. We couldn't coordinate things appropriately. | 00:09:10 | |
Than our ability that we've demonstrated to others. We'd lose that immediately. | 00:09:15 | |
And then the next time. | 00:09:20 | |
That someone's looking for somebody to fill a task or fill a role and you raise your hand and volunteer. | 00:09:21 | |
People are not gonna be like ohh yeah Laura, we want you. | 00:09:27 | |
If it didn't go well, right. And so all of these things help build that trust and and overtime it strengthens but it's something | 00:09:30 | |
that can happen. | 00:09:34 | |
Quickly and and then and if we don't if done effectively can be very beneficial to those that we work with. | 00:09:38 | |
We all know a lot of the benefits of trust, but I've I've just highlighted a couple here that I want to trust on or I want to | 00:09:45 | |
touch on. Excuse me? | 00:09:48 | |
It improves our efficiency and it lowers our cost and how does that work? | 00:09:52 | |
If we can improve our efficiency. | 00:09:56 | |
We improve efficiency because I trust the people I work with. | 00:10:00 | |
Umm. | 00:10:03 | |
If. | 00:10:04 | |
Misty. | 00:10:05 | |
I'm just going by the name in front of you, So is that yes? | 00:10:06 | |
If. | 00:10:09 | |
Um, if I trust Missy to get a job done, then I'm not going to waste my time. | 00:10:10 | |
Continually following up with her and. | 00:10:14 | |
And micromanaging her process. I'm just going to let her get it done, which is going to allow me to get my work done. | 00:10:17 | |
Which will then improve our efficiency and lower our cost. | 00:10:23 | |
Umm. | 00:10:27 | |
We just trust other people to do our jobs and we can move forward. | 00:10:28 | |
Knowing that they're going to get their job done, but also we know that since they trust us. | 00:10:32 | |
We can move forward. We don't have to waste time looking for approval. | 00:10:37 | |
Continually with the people that we're working with because we know that they trust us in this process. | 00:10:41 | |
Collectively, if if we have a culture of trust and a culture where. | 00:10:47 | |
We understand that people will come when needed, but not all the time. | 00:10:51 | |
And we can work more effectively together. | 00:10:55 | |
I have three questions up here and I want you guys to kind of talk with the person next to you. | 00:10:59 | |
123-4567, Eight. Good. And I want you to pick either three of these categories individually, in teams or at the office. | 00:11:05 | |
And I want you to answer these three questions and we'll give you a little bit of time, then we'll come back and share out. | 00:11:14 | |
But what does trust look like? | 00:11:19 | |
In teams or what does trust look like at the office? | 00:11:21 | |
What are characteristics of trust? | 00:11:25 | |
And then what is evidence of trust? So how do you know trust is there? | 00:11:27 | |
Umm. | 00:11:31 | |
And one of these places, so 2 1/2 minutes or so and then we'll come back and share. | 00:11:33 | |
OK. | 00:11:37 | |
I don't, No, I don't think you have. I don't think we have to have mics on because then we'll share out. | 00:11:39 | |
Get a lot. | 00:11:46 | |
Xbox. | 00:13:14 | |
At the outset. | 00:13:26 | |
One of those. | 00:13:30 | |
Or at least self aware right? This is good. | 00:14:10 | |
This is good. | 00:14:13 | |
Another 30 seconds. | 00:14:15 | |
Kind of finalize your thoughts here another 30 seconds. | 00:14:17 | |
Think I'm all the way up. | 00:14:36 | |
And. | 00:14:37 | |
So. | 00:14:39 | |
It's all good. | 00:14:40 | |
We'll make it happen. | 00:14:41 | |
I appreciate it. | 00:14:43 | |
Need to. | 00:14:45 | |
Shrink a little bit. | 00:14:46 | |
Do some lunges, OK? | 00:14:48 | |
Um, I hope we were able to have some good conversation with. | 00:14:50 | |
As we were sitting with Does anyone want to share? | 00:14:55 | |
Did anybody talk about individually what trust looks like? | 00:14:57 | |
And you guys did, do you want to kind of share what you guys were talking about and you can? | 00:15:01 | |
Go through all three questions if you want or or one, whatever you guys want to do. | 00:15:05 | |
We actually picked. | 00:15:11 | |
The things that we touched on actually fit in for all group areas, but the most important. | 00:15:14 | |
For us was communication, transparency, collaborative and honesty. | 00:15:20 | |
So those can work with a team. | 00:15:26 | |
At the office, or even individually, still need all four of those care characteristics. | 00:15:28 | |
And were those listed in? | 00:15:33 | |
Order of importance or just no? | 00:15:36 | |
OK. If you had to pick one, what would be most important to you guys? | 00:15:38 | |
They're all equally important with each other. | 00:15:46 | |
Right, if you can have communication. | 00:15:48 | |
But how honest is it and how transparent? | 00:15:51 | |
You can have transparency, but are they being transparent about the truth? | 00:15:54 | |
Feel like you're asking a trick question. I'm not trying to catch you. | 00:15:58 | |
Yeah. | 00:16:04 | |
Um. | 00:16:05 | |
I I think it's interesting that communication did come up. | 00:16:06 | |
And because I think in a lot of ways. | 00:16:09 | |
Communication is an easy way to ruin trust. | 00:16:12 | |
Whether it's. | 00:16:15 | |
Withholding information or. | 00:16:16 | |
Not sharing the right information. | 00:16:18 | |
Or choosing who to share information with or who not to share information with. | 00:16:20 | |
Demonstrates a lot of trust. | 00:16:25 | |
But also, if I don't trust somebody, there's things that I'm not going to share with them. | 00:16:28 | |
Because I don't want. | 00:16:34 | |
The Pandora's Box, for lack of a better reference to get out right. | 00:16:36 | |
In my family, if I want to keep a secret safe. | 00:16:41 | |
I will never tell. | 00:16:45 | |
My grandma. | 00:16:47 | |
My grandma's notorious for. | 00:16:49 | |
Hey, did you hear about so and so And I'm like, grandma. What? Do you what? No. | 00:16:51 | |
There's other people I do know in my family, I can tell them, and it's a steel box. | 00:16:55 | |
It's never coming out right, and so trust can be demonstrated. | 00:17:00 | |
By how you communicate, but also who you communicate with. Very good. | 00:17:04 | |
Did anybody else talk? | 00:17:09 | |
Let's go to teams who talked about teams and we can go back here as well, but. | 00:17:12 | |
Who talked about teams? What does trust look like? What does evidence of trust in teams, please? | 00:17:16 | |
Individually, each member of the team has to do what they say Do their assignment as assigned, yeah? | 00:17:28 | |
And then? | 00:17:35 | |
When you work as a team. | 00:17:37 | |
And you run into problems, then hopefully you could come together and trust. | 00:17:39 | |
In the judgment and trying to solve the problem. | 00:17:43 | |
Social Accountability #1 Right like. | 00:17:49 | |
I don't do what I say kind of thing, yeah. But as in if you're in like in a team effort and you're. | 00:17:52 | |
Yeah, you use it footballs and analogies. Like you know that that defensive end keeps coming in there. | 00:17:58 | |
What are we going to do about that guy? OK, we're gonna, you know. | 00:18:03 | |
We're gonna try something different and I think. | 00:18:06 | |
I think as a team. | 00:18:10 | |
You know it's most important to monitor your results. | 00:18:11 | |
You know the risk management process. You know fifth step and. | 00:18:15 | |
And I try to improve on it and and just be and then that's where individually it's like, look, you got to be on time, you got to | 00:18:19 | |
be transparent, you gotta just be realistic And then we we all have to. | 00:18:23 | |
Figure out a new way of moving forward to keep going in the direction that we want to go in. | 00:18:29 | |
Very good. | 00:18:34 | |
So how do you? How? What is the evidence of trust, or how? | 00:18:35 | |
Kind of summarizing what you just shared. How do you know? | 00:18:38 | |
There is trust on a team. | 00:18:41 | |
I think individually like for me, and some people may laugh but be on time. | 00:18:44 | |
If if we're going to have a meeting and we're going to do something, be on time and then and then. | 00:18:50 | |
Start from there, sure. | 00:18:55 | |
In, in, in the, in a team or at the office and you know do what you're assigned to do. | 00:18:57 | |
And then? | 00:19:03 | |
Speak the bad and good truth. | 00:19:05 | |
OK, share the good stuff. | 00:19:08 | |
Share the bad stuff. Yeah. Don't hide it. Don't disguise it. Yeah, just put it out there. | 00:19:10 | |
So that. | 00:19:16 | |
The five of us can make good decisions based on. | 00:19:17 | |
The good and the bad truth, whatever that may be, yeah. | 00:19:21 | |
But we we just talked a little bit about communication maybe withholding. | 00:19:24 | |
Some things because maybe we're worried about. | 00:19:28 | |
How that reflects on us? | 00:19:31 | |
Or or what message we might be sending? | 00:19:33 | |
I just read a book called Extreme Ownership and in this book. | 00:19:36 | |
The the author talks about owning the entire process, I think frequently. | 00:19:40 | |
Not I think. I know it's very easy to own the process. | 00:19:45 | |
When we have been successful, right like. | 00:19:49 | |
Look at all the good that we did and and I'm going to talk about this. | 00:19:52 | |
But it's hard for us to own the process. | 00:19:55 | |
If we've done poorly. | 00:19:58 | |
Or it's easy for us to say it's. | 00:20:00 | |
Charles's fault or it's Johnny's fault. It's not my fault, it's somebody else's fault and and I deflect the blame. | 00:20:04 | |
In a in a team setting, something that I've learned over the years, it's like, you know? | 00:20:11 | |
At the time, it sounded like a good idea. And now we know differently. And that breaks the ice. Sure, you know, just. | 00:20:15 | |
So oftentimes in a team or in the office, you know you got to break the ice and. | 00:20:23 | |
To me, that's always been a good way. Like, you know, we at the time. | 00:20:27 | |
It would just look like a really good idea. Yeah. Now we know differently. Yeah, very good. | 00:20:31 | |
Like. | 00:20:36 | |
Making an ad about cigarettes and and trying to sell cigarettes like we thought it was OK at the time. We found out that causes | 00:20:38 | |
cancer and we're not going to do that anymore, right? And so. | 00:20:42 | |
Good example anybody else? | 00:20:46 | |
Want to share anything about trust, Building trust on teams? Please. | 00:20:48 | |
Think on. | 00:20:54 | |
On the personal side, characteristics of. | 00:20:55 | |
Me being trustworthy is, you know, account. I'm accountable. | 00:21:01 | |
My when I say something, I'm gonna do that. I think on the other side is delegation. | 00:21:06 | |
OK. | 00:21:12 | |
People to say, OK, I I I trust this person. Therefore I will give this person something of responsibility, sure. | 00:21:13 | |
Yeah. | 00:21:21 | |
And that's a slippery slope delegation. Some people are super delegators. | 00:21:22 | |
And they delegate everything regardless of what it is. | 00:21:29 | |
Because they don't want to do it. | 00:21:32 | |
Other people are master receivers of delegation. | 00:21:34 | |
Right. They get the job done, so they're the ones that always get. | 00:21:38 | |
Load it on with the extra tasks and so. | 00:21:41 | |
Finding that balance between. | 00:21:44 | |
Trusting and giving. | 00:21:46 | |
But also understanding how much and when and and what we're giving. | 00:21:48 | |
Very good. Please. | 00:21:52 | |
One of the things that I wanted to mention is. | 00:21:53 | |
Trust, in my opinion, is not something that's seen statically. | 00:21:56 | |
It has to be seen in motion. | 00:22:00 | |
So I think it's an action like so it's really difficult. | 00:22:03 | |
To think of it like that, but trust is an action. It's something that's being done. | 00:22:06 | |
And it's it's a it's a confidence. | 00:22:11 | |
That people are going to listen, communicate and are going to be honest with you. | 00:22:14 | |
So individually looking at it, it's like being confident in yourself and you know, trusting in yourself and so it's like the way | 00:22:18 | |
that you carry yourself and and believe about yourself and then. | 00:22:23 | |
In teams it would be about the same you're you're. | 00:22:28 | |
Now just being confident, not just in yourself, but you're confident in your team. So it's it's being expanded to the whole group. | 00:22:32 | |
Sure. | 00:22:39 | |
I like that analogy it. | 00:22:40 | |
It it's an action. | 00:22:42 | |
You can see when. | 00:22:43 | |
Trust is a parent or trust is. | 00:22:45 | |
Umm. | 00:22:48 | |
Something that people have within a group. | 00:22:49 | |
Likewise you can see when trust doesn't exist. | 00:22:51 | |
Right, there's there's islands or silos and people are working independently and. | 00:22:54 | |
And choosing not to interact with others because. | 00:22:58 | |
There is no trust we've that bridge has been burned too many times, right? And so. | 00:23:01 | |
I like that. Very good. Anybody else? | 00:23:06 | |
Please. | 00:23:08 | |
The way in real quickly and on dovetail on what Mayor Martinez has shared. | 00:23:09 | |
When you ask the question what does trust look like? I I. | 00:23:13 | |
I look for a behavior, Umm. And if I meet somebody for the first time, I I read their body language and how they're standing or | 00:23:18 | |
sitting or. | 00:23:22 | |
Posing sure. And you know if they are. | 00:23:28 | |
They're kind of like. | 00:23:30 | |
Looking timid and maybe I'm not going to have much confidence in them or I'm going to treat them a little delicately. | 00:23:32 | |
If they're standing up straight and are sitting up straight, they look like they're eager to go and ready to. | 00:23:38 | |
You know, to get to work. Yeah. So that's like for me, the first indicators of behavior. | 00:23:43 | |
But overtime then you? | 00:23:50 | |
That's the proof is in the pudding, right? | 00:23:52 | |
And then you look for the characteristics of. | 00:23:55 | |
The results, Yeah. What results can they deliver? Yeah. And then. | 00:23:57 | |
Through the results you develop trust, yeah. | 00:24:00 | |
Everyone can put on a good face initially. | 00:24:04 | |
And then you find out exactly who somebody is. | 00:24:07 | |
Later right. That's where that integrity piece of of. | 00:24:10 | |
Building that trust falls in. | 00:24:12 | |
Are you who you say you are? And are you going to continue to be that person? | 00:24:14 | |
When it gets rough or when it gets hard. | 00:24:18 | |
Very good. | 00:24:21 | |
Anybody else back here? Want to share anything? | 00:24:22 | |
I'm sorry, can you come to the mic? | 00:24:26 | |
Yeah, Leveler. | 00:24:33 | |
So we talked about teams and trust in our teams and one of the things was when we trust our teams. | 00:24:35 | |
We tend as leaders to not micromanage because we know they're going to get the work done. | 00:24:41 | |
And we know they work well with each other and it's. | 00:24:46 | |
Pretty much. Not just what they say, but it's doing it and having the results at the end of the day. | 00:24:49 | |
So. | 00:24:54 | |
And and that that falls on us as leaders. | 00:24:57 | |
To create a space. | 00:25:00 | |
Of trust, but also to foster an in. | 00:25:02 | |
And help people develop stronger trust to work like that. Very good. Thank you. | 00:25:05 | |
Have a question? Yes. Please excuse me for being into your personal life, but. | 00:25:10 | |
Why did you walk away from education as a administrator? Was it a trust issue or was it a? | 00:25:15 | |
Better opportunity or? | 00:25:22 | |
Yeah. | 00:25:25 | |
The reason why I got into education was to help. | 00:25:28 | |
Grow kids and and. | 00:25:31 | |
Help them be better. | 00:25:34 | |
And so as a as a teacher and a coach, I felt like I could do that. | 00:25:36 | |
And at a small scale with individual kids that I had in my classroom or on my team. | 00:25:40 | |
As an administrator. | 00:25:45 | |
I was able to do that at a larger scale. | 00:25:47 | |
And because I was in enacting change and processes that. | 00:25:50 | |
Affected. | 00:25:54 | |
2500 kids at a time. | 00:25:55 | |
Not just 125 kids. | 00:25:57 | |
And so that was fun for me, but. | 00:26:00 | |
As my time and administration continued, I found myself more and more. | 00:26:02 | |
Engaging with parents, students and teachers. | 00:26:07 | |
Who are acting inappropriately and exhibiting poor behavior. | 00:26:10 | |
So I was spending my time. | 00:26:14 | |
Working on things that. | 00:26:17 | |
Were not what I wanted them to be. | 00:26:19 | |
What I envision myself doing in education. | 00:26:22 | |
So it wasn't a lack of trust. It just wasn't. | 00:26:24 | |
I wasn't. | 00:26:27 | |
Being able to accomplish what I wanted to do in education. | 00:26:28 | |
Umm. | 00:26:32 | |
So yeah. | 00:26:33 | |
Among a lot of other factors, but. | 00:26:34 | |
That was the biggest one, so. | 00:26:36 | |
Yeah. | 00:26:37 | |
OK. | 00:26:38 | |
Any other questions? | 00:26:39 | |
OK. | 00:26:42 | |
All right, on the screen are a bunch of betrayers of trust and these betrayers of trust. | 00:26:43 | |
I hope. | 00:26:49 | |
Are not things that we enjoy. If you do enjoy these then. | 00:26:50 | |
And we have some issues, but that's OK, we can work through. What I would like you to do is turn to the person that you were just | 00:26:55 | |
talking with, and I want you to find the one that you hate the most. | 00:27:01 | |
And why? | 00:27:07 | |
I want you to share that with the person that you were just communicating with. | 00:27:08 | |
So take about a 2 minutes or so, find the one that you hate the most and why. | 00:27:12 | |
How does that ruin trust for you? | 00:27:18 | |
Why does that destroy team chemistry, all that kind of stuff so? | 00:27:20 | |
2 minutes, Mark Sego. | 00:27:24 | |
You know another 30 seconds. | 00:29:00 | |
Was. | 00:29:08 | |
OK. | 00:29:10 | |
Sorry. | 00:29:13 | |
Said. I'm sorry it was that. | 00:29:14 | |
OK. | 00:29:45 | |
I I think if we wanted to, we could probably spend. | 00:29:47 | |
Like an hour. | 00:29:50 | |
Like talking through each one of these. | 00:29:52 | |
And we can remember situations where we've. | 00:29:54 | |
Interacted with somebody and and really hated it because of one of these, right? But does anybody? | 00:29:57 | |
Want to share? | 00:30:03 | |
One of these that they don't like. | 00:30:05 | |
So the one that popped out to me right away and I think it actually. | 00:30:07 | |
Creates. | 00:30:10 | |
Everything else. | 00:30:12 | |
And it's a good indicator of an integrity issue is refusing to be accountable. | 00:30:13 | |
If you are not able to be accountable about your own mistakes. | 00:30:18 | |
That is obviously an integrity issue and the lack of honesty issue. It's a well and it creates all of these other situations. | 00:30:22 | |
That arise from it. | 00:30:31 | |
Yeah. | 00:30:32 | |
So how does that ruin A-Team dynamic if? | 00:30:33 | |
Well, you're to You're no longer trusted people. You're you're workers. Who are the people who are under you will no longer. | 00:30:36 | |
Be able to rely on you. You're good judgment. They don't trust your ability. | 00:30:42 | |
Plus um. | 00:30:46 | |
You're the one getting all the heat because they're putting the blame on you. Most likely, Yeah. And and then. | 00:30:47 | |
Everything that happens. | 00:30:53 | |
Is your fault O and then nothing you do. | 00:30:55 | |
Ever fixes that issue because they're they refuse to accept responsibility when it's theirs. | 00:30:59 | |
And frequently deflect. | 00:31:04 | |
Or place the blame on somebody else, right? And. | 00:31:06 | |
Because we're not willing to accept our own personal responsibility. | 00:31:09 | |
And whatever the situation was, OK, very good. | 00:31:14 | |
Anybody else? Pick one or find one that they hate a lot. | 00:31:17 | |
Please. | 00:31:22 | |
So I selected placing blame, and I think it gets back to being a refusing to to be accountable. If you're blaming other situations | 00:31:24 | |
or other people, you're not holding yourself accountable. | 00:31:31 | |
And I'm also of the belief that. | 00:31:37 | |
Everybody. | 00:31:40 | |
Is. | 00:31:41 | |
Accountable in a situation that. | 00:31:42 | |
Yeah, the situation could have, could have been a bad situation, could have been prevented. It could have been a number of. | 00:31:45 | |
Of the fault of a number of people but. | 00:31:53 | |
I always believe that. | 00:31:57 | |
Even so. | 00:31:58 | |
I I have a role in that it's like. | 00:31:59 | |
You can't. How long do you want to blame your parents for the fact that your life was screwed up? | 00:32:03 | |
You know. | 00:32:07 | |
What's my What's I if I believe that my parents screwed my life up? | 00:32:08 | |
Then my role in that, my responsibility is that I'm holding on to that right. | 00:32:13 | |
So even if I might not be 100% responsible for something, I think. | 00:32:18 | |
We're all. | 00:32:24 | |
Maybe have a little role. | 00:32:25 | |
It's funny you say that. Almost a direct quote from JK Rowling. | 00:32:27 | |
There's an expiration date. I'm blaming your parents for your current situation, right? And. | 00:32:31 | |
And I think that goes in every situation that we are in, right? | 00:32:36 | |
Things have happened but. | 00:32:40 | |
If we continually look back as to why. | 00:32:42 | |
We couldn't get things done. We can never be forward thinking we didn't. We can never move past it. | 00:32:45 | |
Very good. | 00:32:50 | |
Anybody else? Anybody here want to share anything? | 00:32:51 | |
Umm. | 00:32:56 | |
One of these that I think is kind of hard for me is this bottom left one. | 00:32:57 | |
A political maneuvering? | 00:33:02 | |
Umm. | 00:33:04 | |
In one of the school districts that I worked in, it was a small town and there was 1 high school in this town. | 00:33:07 | |
And. | 00:33:13 | |
There there was an old boys club in district administration. | 00:33:15 | |
And so if you are part of this club then. | 00:33:19 | |
You kind of got away with whatever you wanted to do. | 00:33:21 | |
And if you weren't a part of this club then? | 00:33:24 | |
You know what should have been a little slap on the wrist was something huge. | 00:33:27 | |
And so people would. | 00:33:32 | |
Politically maneuver in situations to get into this club or to do different things. | 00:33:33 | |
Which led to obviously more problems. | 00:33:39 | |
And I just refuse to play. | 00:33:42 | |
Into that game. | 00:33:45 | |
Which was to my detriment because I wasn't a part of it. Right. And so. | 00:33:47 | |
And. | 00:33:51 | |
To the the the bottom right, my interactions became transactional. | 00:33:52 | |
And and and it wasn't really there and people weren't really. | 00:33:57 | |
Appreciating me for who I am or or what I could bring to the table and so. | 00:34:02 | |
It's hard for us when we. | 00:34:06 | |
Interact with people and do things. | 00:34:08 | |
With a lot of these because they create situations that are not only uncomfortable. | 00:34:11 | |
But they damage our relationships and they damaged the workplace. | 00:34:15 | |
Culture that we have. | 00:34:19 | |
And I just want to talk touch on just one more. | 00:34:21 | |
And that one's gossiping. | 00:34:24 | |
And if we think about gossiping, to me, it kind of goes with reality TV. | 00:34:26 | |
And so we think about this like, why do we watch reality TV? Or why do we gossip? | 00:34:33 | |
It's because we want to feel better about our current situation. | 00:34:37 | |
And if we think about it right, we we gossip because. | 00:34:40 | |
You want to share somebody else's faults or somebody else's? | 00:34:43 | |
Shortcomings. | 00:34:47 | |
With somebody else with the intent of damaging or harming them. | 00:34:48 | |
And there's a difference between that. | 00:34:52 | |
And and venting. Venting is. | 00:34:54 | |
Talking through a problem and trying to find a solution. | 00:34:58 | |
Gossiping is. | 00:35:01 | |
Trying to harm or damage somebody else and so. | 00:35:03 | |
It it's it's a fine line, but a lot of these things if we just shift the narrative a little bit. | 00:35:06 | |
Can lead to some positive interactions with other people. | 00:35:13 | |
OK. So we just talked in this previous slide about all these bad things that ruin trust. | 00:35:18 | |
Now here are three things that can help build and rebuild trust quickly, please. | 00:35:23 | |
Back to. | 00:35:30 | |
Refusing to be accountable. Yeah, I had a situation where a person would do. | 00:35:32 | |
Bad things and I would call him out on it and they're all about accountable by going ohh, I'm sorry. | 00:35:38 | |
And after a while it's like OK look. | 00:35:45 | |
Being sorry for deliberate actions isn't accountability. And actually, you know, kind of the opposite. Yeah. Yeah. And so I I | 00:35:48 | |
just. | 00:35:52 | |
Thought about that like sometimes. | 00:35:56 | |
People that do things that they know are bad that, well, I'll just say I'm sorry because now I'm accountable and it's like, well, | 00:35:59 | |
you know, not really, yeah. | 00:36:02 | |
A little lack of self-awareness there, right? To know exactly the impact that that action is having. | 00:36:07 | |
We think that it's OK, but it's really not right our our actions show. | 00:36:12 | |
Differently than how we are. | 00:36:16 | |
What we're actually saying. | 00:36:18 | |
Um. | 00:36:20 | |
So let's talk about these three really quick. | 00:36:22 | |
And there was a Harvard Business Review. | 00:36:24 | |
And that identified. | 00:36:27 | |
They tried to identify the three most important qualities that somebody needed to have. | 00:36:29 | |
If they wanted to build and rebuild trust quickly. | 00:36:34 | |
And throughout their research and studies and findings, they kind of narrowed it down to these three ideas. | 00:36:36 | |
Someone who is consistent. | 00:36:43 | |
And is accountable to not only themselves, but to others. | 00:36:45 | |
And they treat everybody the same way. So if I've got. | 00:36:49 | |
Six people on my team. | 00:36:53 | |
And and. | 00:36:55 | |
All six make a mistake, they all receive the same consequence, or they all receive the same praise. If they do the right thing. | 00:36:56 | |
Right so. | 00:37:00 | |
I'm consistent in my actions. | 00:37:03 | |
And the second one is relationships. Am I able to build relationships with those that I'm interacting and working with? | 00:37:05 | |
Umm. | 00:37:12 | |
You know, all of us. | 00:37:13 | |
Have had situations where we've not had relationships with people and how hard it is to trust them, so we know. | 00:37:15 | |
How helpful it is to have a good relationship with those that we're trying to build and rebuild trust with. | 00:37:21 | |
And then that last one, which is utilizing and making good judgment. | 00:37:26 | |
And so that is a couple of things #1. | 00:37:31 | |
Do we have the knowledge, the expertise, the ability to make good decisions? | 00:37:34 | |
And if we don't? | 00:37:38 | |
Do we have the knowledge and the ability to go find the answer and then make a decision quickly? | 00:37:40 | |
And all three of these combined. | 00:37:46 | |
Sorry, all three of these combined help us build trust or rebuild it if we need to. | 00:37:49 | |
And but the question I have for you guys. | 00:37:54 | |
Is which one do you think is most important? | 00:37:57 | |
And it. | 00:38:00 | |
All three are important, so I'm not asking a trick question. | 00:38:00 | |
I promise. | 00:38:04 | |
But I'm just curious where you guys are at and if, if you think being consistent and accountable is most important, would you | 00:38:06 | |
raise your hand? | 00:38:10 | |
OK. | 00:38:16 | |
What about building and good relationships? | 00:38:17 | |
I think that's most important. | 00:38:21 | |
OK. And utilizing and making good judgment. | 00:38:24 | |
OK. | 00:38:27 | |
The two of you who said that you were the first two in like 2 months that have said something about utilizing good judgment. | 00:38:29 | |
So kudos to you. | 00:38:35 | |
Is it a good thing? Yeah, yeah. It's just usually people don't think that that's the most important thing. | 00:38:38 | |
To building and rebuilding trust. So it's just interesting. | 00:38:44 | |
To see everyone's. | 00:38:47 | |
Perspectives and and what they think is different. So not good or bad, just. | 00:38:49 | |
Kudos, that's all but. | 00:38:53 | |
Similar to what council member Hernandez was saying, you know when you. | 00:38:55 | |
The suspect. | 00:38:59 | |
Somebody's body language to be hurting. You want to use good judgment when you. | 00:39:00 | |
Come in and engage with that person, particularly if if there's stress or a problem. | 00:39:07 | |
You know, 100%. | 00:39:11 | |
100%. | 00:39:13 | |
Yeah, like I said at the beginning, all three of these are important and. | 00:39:14 | |
And it's. | 00:39:18 | |
Maybe arbitrary as to which one is important. | 00:39:19 | |
But all three are important, and all three are needed and and, these researchers found. | 00:39:22 | |
That if you exhibited all three of these qualities. | 00:39:28 | |
And then your trust score was a. | 00:39:30 | |
A score of 60, which I know is not great, but that's just the score that they gave these these individuals if they exhibited. | 00:39:33 | |
Umm. | 00:39:40 | |
A desirable level of consistency, accountability, building relationships and making good judgment. | 00:39:41 | |
They give you a score of 60, but then what they wanted to do. | 00:39:48 | |
And see which one impacted trust the most. | 00:39:51 | |
And so how they did that was taking away one of these qualities. | 00:39:54 | |
To see how that impacted the trust that people were able to build or rebuild. | 00:39:58 | |
And so initially they took away. | 00:40:03 | |
And people's ability to be consistent and accountable. | 00:40:05 | |
And so they identify people who could build good relationships, make good judgment decisions. | 00:40:08 | |
And that they found that from 60 their trust score dropped 17. | 00:40:13 | |
Down to 43 points, so. | 00:40:18 | |
Not terrible, but not great. | 00:40:21 | |
And then they took away someone's ability to make. | 00:40:23 | |
And build relationships with people. | 00:40:27 | |
And found that their trust score dropped 33 points. | 00:40:30 | |
All the way down to 27 and they found that to be the biggest drop. | 00:40:33 | |
Of any of them. Obviously, if you don't have any, it's terrible, but. | 00:40:38 | |
The most impactful 1. | 00:40:42 | |
Was someone's ability to build relationships with those around them. | 00:40:45 | |
And and I agree with this and their rationale and reasoning was. | 00:40:49 | |
And. | 00:40:54 | |
Relationships give you grace when you make mistakes. | 00:40:55 | |
So an example of this might be. | 00:40:59 | |
If. | 00:41:01 | |
We thought we had all the right information. | 00:41:03 | |
And unfortunately it turned out poorly. | 00:41:05 | |
And and people have a relationship with me or I have a good relationship with them. | 00:41:08 | |
Than the narrative that those people might write. | 00:41:13 | |
In their head, isn't. | 00:41:16 | |
Or is. That's not who Jacob is. He doesn't typically make poor decisions. | 00:41:18 | |
I'm going to give him the benefit of the doubt. I'm going to give him a little bit of grace. | 00:41:24 | |
But if I don't have a relationship. | 00:41:27 | |
With the people that I'm working with and I make a mistake. | 00:41:30 | |
The narrative isn't. This isn't who Jacob is. The narrative is. | 00:41:33 | |
This is who Jacob is. He always makes mistakes. | 00:41:37 | |
This is what he's always going to do. I should be. | 00:41:40 | |
That person I should be the leader. | 00:41:44 | |
That relationship, peace, gives us grace. | 00:41:46 | |
And. | 00:41:49 | |
When I was coaching basketball. | 00:41:50 | |
If you could score 25 points in a game for me. | 00:41:52 | |
I could live with a couple turnovers I could live with. | 00:41:56 | |
Not hustling back on defense once or twice. | 00:41:59 | |
And that leash? | 00:42:02 | |
Of. | 00:42:04 | |
Or play was longer. | 00:42:05 | |
And someone who was on the bench. | 00:42:08 | |
Came off, maybe scored a pointer to a game. | 00:42:10 | |
Turn the ball over every time and I'd pull them right back out. | 00:42:12 | |
Back on the bench, where they should have stayed, right? | 00:42:16 | |
And that's what that that relationship gives us. It gives us a little bit of a longer. | 00:42:19 | |
Time. | 00:42:24 | |
Some grace if we make mistakes. | 00:42:26 | |
Now what? That doesn't mean. | 00:42:28 | |
Is because I have a relationship with you. I can just make mistakes and it's OK That's not what that means, because that | 00:42:29 | |
consistent and accountability piece will start going out the window. | 00:42:34 | |
Especially if. | 00:42:39 | |
And and my ability to demonstrate that I can make good judgment will go out the window, right. So it's not going to be that catch | 00:42:40 | |
all. | 00:42:43 | |
That just because I have a relationship with you means that I can make mistakes and here's my green light and it's OK. | 00:42:47 | |
Right. Hopefully we'll learn from those mistakes and and not make them again. | 00:42:53 | |
But that relationship builds that space for us to to make those mistakes. | 00:42:56 | |
Anybody have any comments or thoughts? | 00:43:02 | |
Behind that. | 00:43:05 | |
OK, very good. | 00:43:10 | |
All right. So here are some ways that I think we can build relationships quickly, some areas that we can focus on. | 00:43:13 | |
Number one, being able to effectively communicate. We talked about this a little bit. | 00:43:21 | |
Already if if we can effectively communicate and we can talk through situations, we can. | 00:43:25 | |
Work through things that might be hard, which leads us to be able to resolve conflict. | 00:43:30 | |
And if I don't trust people, I'm not going to trust that they're. | 00:43:35 | |
Intentions are good, or that they're trying to help me be successful, or they're trying to work through what it is that we're | 00:43:38 | |
trying to work through. | 00:43:42 | |
And helping people feel like they belong. | 00:43:45 | |
Helps us build relationships and we'll talk a little bit about the benefits of. | 00:43:48 | |
Belonging and what that does for us and what that does for our organization and then obviously integrity, we've talked about that. | 00:43:52 | |
A lot today and we'll touch a little bit on that. | 00:44:00 | |
But just some things about communication that I want to touch on. | 00:44:03 | |
We were talking with a a client earlier today actually. | 00:44:07 | |
About some an issue that couple members of their Public Works department were having with each other. | 00:44:12 | |
Um, one was saying one thing. | 00:44:19 | |
In other words, saying something else. | 00:44:21 | |
And it made me think of a quote. | 00:44:23 | |
And that says that the single biggest problem with or the greatest illusion? Excuse me. | 00:44:25 | |
About communication is that it has taken place. | 00:44:32 | |
If if we think communication is happened but it really hasn't, it leads to a lot of problems. | 00:44:35 | |
So if we want to make sure or ensure that communication does happen. | 00:44:41 | |
For me there are 4 components of that. | 00:44:45 | |
Number one that that message needs to be sent. | 00:44:48 | |
Right now I'm sending a message to you guys. | 00:44:52 | |
And whether we're listening or not, I'm still sending it right? You guys, through your body language, are sending me a message, | 00:44:55 | |
right? I can. | 00:44:59 | |
I can gather pretty quickly if if you're agreeing with what I'm saying, if you're disagreeing with what I'm saying. | 00:45:03 | |
And if you're thinking about something like, I can see body language gives us away, right? But. | 00:45:10 | |
We we're we're sending that message, that second piece. | 00:45:16 | |
Is that message needs to be received? | 00:45:19 | |
And I I can talk. | 00:45:22 | |
To a wall, and that wall is never gonna receive my message. | 00:45:24 | |
Sometimes I feel that way with my 8 year old and I can talk to her and. | 00:45:27 | |
Just she doesn't ever receive it. | 00:45:31 | |
That third piece is that message is understood. | 00:45:34 | |
And there's two pieces to that, number one. | 00:45:36 | |
I need to be able to clearly communicate what the message I'm trying to share is so it can be easily understood. | 00:45:40 | |
But the receiver of that message. | 00:45:47 | |
Is to ask questions to clarify. | 00:45:50 | |
To ensure that they understand what the message is that I'm sharing, so it's. | 00:45:53 | |
It's a two person. | 00:45:57 | |
There's two roles in that. | 00:45:59 | |
What this doesn't mean? | 00:46:01 | |
Is you need to agree with my message. | 00:46:02 | |
To be able to understand it, I think too often. | 00:46:05 | |
When we don't agree with somebody's message, we automatically just stop listening. | 00:46:08 | |
Right, true communication doesn't mean that we have to agree. | 00:46:12 | |
It's just that we can understand. | 00:46:15 | |
What the other person is trying to share. | 00:46:17 | |
Think back to when you were in school and my favorite. | 00:46:21 | |
All time favorite? | 00:46:27 | |
Example of this. | 00:46:28 | |
Is anytime we would have an assignment to do in the classroom. | 00:46:30 | |
I would try my best to. | 00:46:34 | |
Umm. | 00:46:36 | |
Demonstrate or show the the the process by which we are going to accomplish something in the classroom. | 00:46:37 | |
I would. | 00:46:44 | |
Say it in Spanish first, because that's what we needed to do, right? Give them the target language acquisition next, I would say | 00:46:45 | |
it in English. | 00:46:48 | |
I might show something on the board so they can see what it looked like. | 00:46:52 | |
We've worked through some examples. | 00:46:55 | |
On a piece of paper or or in a group on a whiteboard or something. | 00:46:57 | |
And then I would say, OK, does anybody have any questions? | 00:47:01 | |
And what was the answer? I got 99.99% of the time. | 00:47:05 | |
No, no questions. | 00:47:10 | |
And then what? | 00:47:12 | |
Ended up happening almost all the time. | 00:47:13 | |
About 3 minutes after we started. | 00:47:16 | |
Mr. Howe and I don't understand what we're doing. | 00:47:19 | |
Right. And so communication clearly did not. | 00:47:22 | |
Effectively happen. | 00:47:25 | |
Because they didn't understand what it was that I was expected. | 00:47:27 | |
Expecting them to do right and so. | 00:47:30 | |
As we are trying to communicate. | 00:47:32 | |
And we worked through those three things. That last one they acknowledged piece. | 00:47:35 | |
And what this looks like is. | 00:47:39 | |
And we've. | 00:47:41 | |
Communicated we we've understood each other and then we've. | 00:47:43 | |
That we've had some kind of like, I get what I'm supposed to do. I understand what you're asking me to do. | 00:47:46 | |
And we're on the same page and we can leave together. | 00:47:51 | |
Now what this might look like? | 00:47:54 | |
Maybe I'm asking Councilman Gamma to to do something, and I sent him an e-mail. Hey, I need this proposal from you. | 00:47:57 | |
By 2:00 tomorrow. | 00:48:05 | |
And I sent him an e-mail. | 00:48:07 | |
And I never hear back from him. | 00:48:08 | |
And go throughout the entire day. | 00:48:10 | |
Wondering, did he get in my e-mail? Is he going to do this? | 00:48:12 | |
O what am I going to do tomorrow morning about 9:00? | 00:48:15 | |
If he was here in the office with me. | 00:48:18 | |
And then? | 00:48:20 | |
Mosey over to his office. Hey, did you get my e-mail yesterday? | 00:48:21 | |
And he's going to say, yeah, yeah, I'm going to get it to you. | 00:48:24 | |
Right. What? | 00:48:27 | |
What would have helped avoid that situation? | 00:48:28 | |
Was just some form of acknowledgement. Hey, I got it. I understand. I'll get it to you. | 00:48:31 | |
And so that last piece just helps ensure that communication has happened. | 00:48:37 | |
To allow us to not assume. | 00:48:42 | |
That people understand or don't understand. | 00:48:44 | |
On the right. | 00:48:48 | |
I just want to highlight a couple statistics about nonverbal communication. | 00:48:50 | |
93% of our communication in situations can be nonverbal. | 00:48:54 | |
And we've talked about this a little bit today on on what people look like. | 00:48:59 | |
55% of that. | 00:49:02 | |
Is our body language, So what we look like, what our appearance is. | 00:49:05 | |
You know, like if I came in here and in shorts and flip flops and AT shirt. | 00:49:09 | |
And was trying to talk to you guys about why trust is important. That message to you would be something completely different. | 00:49:13 | |
And the message I'm sending right now, even if it was the exact same information. | 00:49:19 | |
And so it's not just how we look. | 00:49:24 | |
But what we look like as we're presenting that information. | 00:49:27 | |
And then that last. | 00:49:31 | |
Percentage, 38% of that is our tone. | 00:49:32 | |
Sometimes we can hide how we really feel with our body language. | 00:49:36 | |
We can hide our disgruntled Ness or our our inability to agree or work well. | 00:49:40 | |
But our tone always gives us away. | 00:49:45 | |
And there's a lot of tones that are frequently used in emotional situations. | 00:49:48 | |
Um, tones like. | 00:49:52 | |
Frustration. | 00:49:54 | |
Impatient tones. | 00:49:56 | |
And patronizing tones. Angry tones. | 00:49:58 | |
And those tones are hard to work with #1. | 00:50:01 | |
But they're also hard not to imitate. | 00:50:05 | |
Right, so if I. | 00:50:07 | |
I'm angry and I'm frustrated with Councilwoman Hernandez. | 00:50:09 | |
It's going to be hard for her not to use those tones back at me. | 00:50:12 | |
Because she's feeling attacked. | 00:50:16 | |
She's feeling questioned, right? And so. | 00:50:18 | |
Our our ability to be self aware of our tone helps us in situations where we're trying to communicate. | 00:50:21 | |
Effectively. | 00:50:27 | |
Any questions or comments on this please? | 00:50:29 | |
Yes, in terms of the percent, you were saying that the percent represents what it can be because. | 00:50:32 | |
All three of those numbers don't add up to 100. | 00:50:38 | |
So, yeah, so. | 00:50:40 | |
55 and 38 = 93. | 00:50:42 | |
Say that again. | 00:50:45 | |
55 + 38 = 93. Ohh. OK. So those two are part that are down from 93. OK, that explains it. Yeah. Thank you. No, thanks for bringing | 00:50:46 | |
that up. I apologize. | 00:50:52 | |
The miscommunication there. | 00:50:57 | |
No, I I see it now. I see the color too. | 00:50:59 | |
I don't. I don't normally notice color, but that's just because it's different. But. | 00:51:03 | |
Ohh, that's Matt Good. | 00:51:08 | |
That teachers are good. My my son is colorblind, so he definitely won't know the difference of the colors there. So. | 00:51:10 | |
I get it. OK, Sir. | 00:51:15 | |
Please. | 00:51:18 | |
I was working with the project manager and he would always say no there any questions? | 00:51:19 | |
Nobody would. | 00:51:24 | |
And then you go, OK, if you had a question, what would it be? And inevitably questions would start coming out and it was a really | 00:51:25 | |
effective way like OK, let's just. | 00:51:30 | |
Breakthrough This You know, like. | 00:51:35 | |
But if you had a question, what would it be? And that just reframing it like that was was really. | 00:51:37 | |
Productive for the team, yeah. | 00:51:43 | |
Yeah, oftentimes people are. | 00:51:45 | |
Weary or not wanting to be critical of situations because. | 00:51:49 | |
They don't want to damage relationships or they don't want to derail what what good has been happening? | 00:51:54 | |
And and so reframing or or putting things into perspective helps. | 00:51:59 | |
To. | 00:52:04 | |
To allow people to do that so good, please. | 00:52:05 | |
So you would say that 7% of the communication is verbal? | 00:52:07 | |
In emotional situations, 100% emotional situation, OK? | 00:52:12 | |
Thank you. | 00:52:15 | |
Just wanted to. | 00:52:18 | |
Because I I talk a lot. So I mean, yeah, I'm trying to think that maybe I don't get the message across. I need to do a better job | 00:52:19 | |
on my tone and body language and and what's interesting. And I think for all of us, we can agree to this. | 00:52:25 | |
We spend a lot of time worrying about the words we're going to say. | 00:52:30 | |
Am I going to ensure that the message I want to? | 00:52:34 | |
Convey is being conveyed. Am I? Am I picking the right words in the right order? | 00:52:38 | |
We don't always think about. | 00:52:43 | |
What we look like or how we're saying it. | 00:52:44 | |
Because that. | 00:52:47 | |
That message can be received completely different. | 00:52:48 | |
In two different tones, I'm completely opposite. | 00:52:51 | |
I My entire communication conversation is on my face. | 00:52:54 | |
What's happening and I'm terrible about it, but. | 00:52:59 | |
Something I have to fix? Yeah. | 00:53:02 | |
But, but you know, you know, and that's half the battle, right? Some people don't understand or realize. | 00:53:04 | |
How bad their tone is. | 00:53:08 | |
My I'll go home and I'll. | 00:53:10 | |
Share some kind of frustration with my wife in a negative tone. | 00:53:13 | |
And she'll say, did you say it in that tone? And I'll say, I guess, because I don't see a problem with this. | 00:53:18 | |
Right. | 00:53:24 | |
And and she'll be like, well, that was a terrible tone. So obviously they responded poorly, right? And so as I look back at the | 00:53:26 | |
situation, I think about the tone that I used with her and I'm not even. | 00:53:31 | |
Like. | 00:53:37 | |
Emotionally fired up in that moment, I'm just like, sharing. | 00:53:38 | |
Right. So if I'm even remotely. | 00:53:42 | |
Charged, Then that tone is going to be completely different and that messaging is going to be received. | 00:53:44 | |
Completely different, right? Think about when we first started using e-mail. | 00:53:49 | |
And and and and What did the words look like? | 00:53:53 | |
When we first started using e-mail, do you guys remember? | 00:53:57 | |
My maybe not abusive, but like on instant messenger. | 00:54:01 | |
We used all capital letters. | 00:54:04 | |
Yeah, but at the time, we weren't yelling. We just was like, this is the coolest thing ever. Like. | 00:54:07 | |
Yeah, yeah. And now if you were receiving a I'll run on paragraph in all caps. | 00:54:17 | |
You think, oh, this person's yelling at me when they might not be, but, but that's what that tone of that message is sending, | 00:54:22 | |
right? And so. | 00:54:26 | |
That tone will give us away. | 00:54:30 | |
99% of the time, so we just need to be aware. | 00:54:32 | |
Of what tone we are using. | 00:54:35 | |
Or what tone we frequently use with people. | 00:54:37 | |
My sarcastic tone I feel like, made me a successful high school teacher. | 00:54:40 | |
And because high school kids. | 00:54:46 | |
Don't know how to respond to sarcasm. | 00:54:48 | |
And so. | 00:54:50 | |
By the end of the year, though. | 00:54:52 | |
Our relationship was built on sarcasm and so they would ask me things like, are you being sarcastic right now, Mr. Hatton, or is | 00:54:54 | |
this how you really feel? So I'd have to, I'd have to tone it back and so far. | 00:54:59 | |
Tradition if our usual tone is a negative tone. | 00:55:05 | |
We might have to change it and figure out what that looks like. | 00:55:08 | |
Finding somebody? | 00:55:12 | |
Who cares about us? | 00:55:13 | |
And wants us to be successful is the best way to get feedback. | 00:55:15 | |
On our tone. | 00:55:19 | |
And like if. | 00:55:20 | |
If Mayor Martinez and I don't have a good relationship, and I ask him, Hey, how's my tone? | 00:55:21 | |
Right. He's not going to give me good advice. He's going to say, Oh yeah, it's great. | 00:55:26 | |
Right as I'm self sabotaging. | 00:55:30 | |
And ruining everything because my tone is terrible, right? So finding people. | 00:55:32 | |
Who care about us and want us to be successful is a good way to receive positive feedback on what our tone looks like. | 00:55:36 | |
OK. Any other questions? | 00:55:42 | |
Yes, ma'am. | 00:55:44 | |
So I love the comment that Councilman Gama offered. That's a little tidbit of. | 00:55:46 | |
That I'm going to take away from here if I ever am in that situation where I say, are there any questions I used to teach. | 00:55:52 | |
And that's great. I love that. | 00:55:59 | |
Well, what would you ask if you were going to ask? I love that, Yeah. | 00:56:01 | |
But. | 00:56:04 | |
In the same vein, you know when we talk about awareness is the first step. I always hear that awareness is the first step. You got | 00:56:06 | |
to be aware of your tone, yeah? | 00:56:10 | |
And I use tone a lot. Everybody here will agree that I agree to that. OK, well, thank you for not using it with me. | 00:56:14 | |
I got a little bit of tone, I think. Well, not with me, yeah, like, I don't. I don't feel negative tones. So don't always have to | 00:56:20 | |
be negative, no. | 00:56:24 | |
No, so. | 00:56:27 | |
So it's the first aware. If the the first step is awareness, what's the second step? | 00:56:29 | |
I mean, how do you control that? How if I know that I'm? | 00:56:33 | |
Being. | 00:56:37 | |
Overly excited in my delivery or my pitch is going up. | 00:56:38 | |
How do you change that? What is that? | 00:56:44 | |
How do you. Yeah, how do you like, bring it down? | 00:56:46 | |
Yes, I'm aware of it. But yeah, so I think you know. | 00:56:51 | |
I want, I want a little like Golden Nugget I can walk away with, so I can practice, yeah. | 00:56:56 | |
Ohh, watch videos of yourself. Yeah, I I I do watch council meetings. Yes, I go back so that you know, that's the self-awareness | 00:57:02 | |
and self reflection is always good. | 00:57:07 | |
Receiving feedback, I think to me kind of goes in that same vein. | 00:57:13 | |
But if it's something that we're working on, then it's setting goals. | 00:57:17 | |
And trying to be proactive on changing and then having people follow up with us, right, so. | 00:57:21 | |
If Councilman Gamer. | 00:57:27 | |
Knows well that what specific tones come out in certain situations with you. | 00:57:29 | |
And then you can tell them, hey, in this kind of situation, I want to make sure that my tone is like this and not like it | 00:57:34 | |
typically is. | 00:57:37 | |
Can you let me know what this looks like as we work through these situations? | 00:57:41 | |
That's exactly what I'm saying. That's exactly what I'm saying. | 00:57:50 | |
Jacob said. That's right. Look, way out of here and I'll never come back, so. | 00:57:54 | |
But yeah, it's just trying to find somebody who can give you that. | 00:57:59 | |
Feedback as you're trying to be intentional about it. | 00:58:02 | |
I've always been like, highly energetic from the moment I get up at 4:30 in the morning, like. | 00:58:06 | |
Discussing those weirdos? Yeah, that's chaos everywhere I go and. | 00:58:12 | |
So like recently I realized with my boss, he's not a morning person and so like I come in an hour early. | 00:58:16 | |
So that I could just play music loud and calm down a little bit because I want all excited, you know? Yeah, but. | 00:58:23 | |
It really was a problem for me because I didn't know how to use my energy. | 00:58:30 | |
Appropriately. Directed. Appropriately. Yeah, right. And sometimes, you know, being excited in the morning. | 00:58:35 | |
Would. | 00:58:41 | |
Destroy everything. Yeah. So anyway so awareness. Yes. You know. And so I I do go through this process to try and. | 00:58:42 | |
Lower my energy level. | 00:58:52 | |
For my first interaction with my boss at the morning, that's awesome and it seems to work good. | 00:58:54 | |
Ma'am. | 00:59:00 | |
You ended. | 00:59:02 | |
With be intentional and so I'd never heard anyone ask that question, Council. | 00:59:05 | |
Member Hernandez is. | 00:59:11 | |
Well, once you're aware, then what's next? | 00:59:13 | |
And I think like you said, it's really having the intention of wanting to be different. | 00:59:16 | |
And then if you have that intention, that awareness and the attention. | 00:59:22 | |
Helps you too. | 00:59:27 | |
Fix whatever it might be. | 00:59:28 | |
But if it's just awareness, then as growing up I'm the youngest of my family and. | 00:59:30 | |
I'm people tell me you're just like your father And I'm like, well, thank you. | 00:59:35 | |
Very stern, very matter of fact. | 00:59:39 | |
Aloof. Those are the words that people in the workplace would say. | 00:59:42 | |
And I'd say, well, if they just get to know me. | 00:59:46 | |
They'll know that I'm not like that, They said yeah, but they gotta get over. You're aloof and you're all this other stuff. Yeah. | 00:59:49 | |
And so I think that's the other thing. And you, you hit the nail on the head when you said. | 00:59:53 | |
It's not just about being aware, it's about wanting to do different. And I think that's kind of the next thing, yeah. | 00:59:58 | |
I always put it in the context of the risk management process and like in the first step of the risk management process, identify | 01:00:06 | |
IT awareness kind of the same thing. But then the second step, develop alternatives to deal with it and then make a selection to | 01:00:12 | |
go with one of the three alternatives and then implement it and then monitor your results and so. | 01:00:19 | |
You know, a lot of times. | 01:00:25 | |
When you go into a meeting or a situation. | 01:00:27 | |
Every every one of us is different. | 01:00:30 | |
And if I'm gonna? | 01:00:33 | |
Be dealing with Martha on an issue. I'm I'm gonna approach her differently than I. | 01:00:35 | |
Approach Mayor Martinez. | 01:00:39 | |
Because we're all different. And so sometimes, you know, that awareness thing kind of can shape the way you go about. | 01:00:41 | |
Problem solving exactly very good. | 01:00:48 | |
Umm. | 01:00:53 | |
So I have this question up here and I'm I'm going to tell you guys a story about my family. | 01:00:56 | |
It's. | 01:01:02 | |
Pretty insightful on on our relationship with my parents. | 01:01:03 | |
And what I grew up in SO. | 01:01:08 | |
Couple Christmases ago as. | 01:01:10 | |
Back home visiting my family. | 01:01:13 | |
And my mom asked my brother-in-law to cut some strawberries. | 01:01:15 | |
And that was the direction that he was given. Will you cut strawberries? | 01:01:21 | |
So based on that instruction. | 01:01:25 | |
Is there a right way to cut strawberries? | 01:01:28 | |
Based on that instruction. | 01:01:31 | |
Is there a right way? | 01:01:32 | |
Not really, right? It wasn't cut strawberries for. | 01:01:34 | |
Or make sure you catch robberies like this. It was just. | 01:01:38 | |
Cut strawberries right. | 01:01:41 | |
And so. | 01:01:43 | |
And my brother-in-law got out of a cutting board and a knife and started cutting strawberries and my. | 01:01:44 | |
Mom walked by. | 01:01:51 | |
And goes Hey, do you know there's a tool for cutting strawberries? | 01:01:52 | |
And like these, like takes off the stem and then you flip it over and it slices it perfectly. Do you want me to get that for you? | 01:01:55 | |
It's like, no, I'm fine. I'm just going to continue cutting strawberries. | 01:02:02 | |
And then, about 30 seconds later, my twin brother walked by. | 01:02:05 | |
Hey, don't you know there's we have a tool for cutting strawberries. You want me to get that for you? | 01:02:10 | |
And he's like, no, I'm, I'm OK. I'm just gonna keep cutting strawberries this way. | 01:02:14 | |
And about 30 seconds later, my little sister, his wife, walks by and says hey. | 01:02:18 | |
Here's the tool to cut strawberries. Will you use it in cut strawberries please? | 01:02:23 | |
And and so in a matter of two minutes. | 01:02:26 | |
Three different people came U to him and asked him. | 01:02:30 | |
About his way of cutting strawberries. | 01:02:34 | |
And even though they didn't ask him this or tell him this. | 01:02:36 | |
What were they telling him with those questions? | 01:02:39 | |
Doing it. | 01:02:42 | |
You're doing it wrong. | 01:02:43 | |
Right, you're doing it wrong. | 01:02:45 | |
They put on this crown. | 01:02:46 | |
Of the Paradigm universe. | 01:02:48 | |
Right Paradigm is our way of viewing the world, right? And if. | 01:02:50 | |
And if I put this crown on and I act like the king or the queen, and I'm telling everybody else. | 01:02:53 | |
Their way of doing things, their point of view, is wrong. | 01:02:59 | |
And that creates problems, obviously, right if. | 01:03:02 | |
If I continually interact with people. | 01:03:06 | |
And my way of interacting with them is telling them that they're wrong. | 01:03:09 | |
Because it's not aligned. | 01:03:13 | |
With the way that I want to do things. | 01:03:15 | |
Having a different paradigm. | 01:03:18 | |
From those that we work with every single day. | 01:03:20 | |
Is tremendously rewarding, right? If, If we think about everybody. | 01:03:23 | |
Acting and feeling the same way. | 01:03:28 | |
When we had a problem, when we have a problem or a solution that we need to come to a consensus on. | 01:03:30 | |
If we all felt the same way, what would that look like? I think we should do this. Yes, yes, yes, yes, Yes, Yes, yes. | 01:03:35 | |
Right. And there would be no adaptation or change. | 01:03:41 | |
To what that process needs to be. | 01:03:44 | |
But if we see and feel and interact and want to do things differently. | 01:03:46 | |
We're going to challenge. We're going to. | 01:03:50 | |
Adapt and we're going to make it better and the the output is going to be so much better. | 01:03:52 | |
Than what it initially came out of. | 01:03:57 | |
Because we feel and we see things differently, but if we interact. | 01:03:59 | |
And consistently tell people that they're doing things wrong because it's not aligned. | 01:04:04 | |
With our way of doing things. | 01:04:08 | |
And it doesn't help us create relationships and actually ruins the relationships. | 01:04:10 | |
Excuse me? | 01:04:14 | |
That we have. | 01:04:16 | |
Is that resonate? Does that make sense to us? Do we know people who act this way? | 01:04:17 | |
Do we like working with people that act this way? | 01:04:22 | |
I'm. I'm. | 01:04:26 | |
I'm glad your mic was off. | 01:04:28 | |
Ohh. | 01:04:32 | |
Yeah. | 01:04:34 | |
People who who live like this frequently use statements like. | 01:04:36 | |
Everyone knows the best way to. | 01:04:42 | |
There's only one right way to do this. | 01:04:44 | |
Don't you think you're making too much of this? | 01:04:48 | |
That's not what he or she meant. | 01:04:50 | |
You're you're taking this the wrong way. | 01:04:53 | |
And all of those statements are saying. | 01:04:55 | |
Your way of doing things or your way of thinking things were as wrong because it's not my way of doing things. | 01:04:58 | |
Right. And we and we all know why that is a problem. | 01:05:05 | |
And and why that creates problems and why it makes it hard for us. | 01:05:07 | |
To build relationships. | 01:05:11 | |
Always went over this. | 01:05:15 | |
Getting ahead of myself. | 01:05:17 | |
Um. | 01:05:18 | |
Another facet of effective communication is being able to effectively listen. | 01:05:19 | |
And being an active listener. | 01:05:24 | |
If we want to be an active listener, there are five things that I think we need to pay attention to for us to be successful #1. | 01:05:27 | |
Removing distractions. | 01:05:34 | |
All of you know when someone that you're working with or talking with. | 01:05:37 | |
Um picks up their phone. | 01:05:40 | |
And is working on their phone, especially on a Zoom call, right? Because we see this. | 01:05:42 | |
And we think they're frozen, right? And so we know that they're not engaged with what we're sharing. | 01:05:49 | |
Umm. | 01:05:53 | |
Maybe if if we know that a situation could be bad and we put our phone away and we put our computer away, maybe we need to get up. | 01:05:55 | |
And go to a different environment. | 01:06:01 | |
Where we won't be distracted by people to help us be a more active listener. | 01:06:03 | |
And we need to be attentive and patient, right? If someone sharing something with us, they might not be able to say it. | 01:06:07 | |
Quickly or or or the right way and we need to give them some time and grace to work through it, ask some questions, probe a little | 01:06:13 | |
bit, make sure that we're understanding what it is that they're trying to share. | 01:06:18 | |
And we just talked about paradigms. | 01:06:23 | |
But if we want to really, truly be able to listen. | 01:06:25 | |
And understand what somebody is sharing with us. We need to set our paradigm aside and try and listen. | 01:06:28 | |
Through their paradigm, we already talked about asking questions. | 01:06:34 | |
And we've talked a little bit already about providing nonverbal feedback, right? | 01:06:37 | |
And. | 01:06:41 | |
Some nods, some smiles. | 01:06:42 | |
That that helps convey that we're listening and that we're understanding. | 01:06:45 | |
And The Fifth Habit in Stephen Covey's. | 01:06:50 | |
7 Habits for highly effective people as. | 01:06:54 | |
Seek first to understand and then be understood. | 01:06:56 | |
And if all of us. | 01:06:59 | |
Adopted that mentality when we're communicating with other people. | 01:07:01 | |
A lot of good can come through our communication. | 01:07:05 | |
All right, I said. We talked about communication, about belonging. | 01:07:08 | |
So here are some statistics about. | 01:07:11 | |
Belonging that I think are insightful. | 01:07:14 | |
But also share with us how important belonging is. | 01:07:17 | |
To our workplace. | 01:07:22 | |
So we all need to feel like we belong, Yet 40% of people feel isolated at work. | 01:07:23 | |
And isolation is different than solitude. | 01:07:30 | |
Some of us choose. | 01:07:33 | |
To separate ourselves from other people and kind of be alone. | 01:07:35 | |
And that's different than isolation, which is not self-imposed, right? Other people are are isolating us. | 01:07:38 | |
Or alienating us. | 01:07:45 | |
But when people feel like they belong. | 01:07:46 | |
There's a 56% increase in job performance. | 01:07:49 | |
I'm invested in this. I I want this to be better. I understand my role. | 01:07:52 | |
I understand how my. | 01:07:57 | |
Piece or my daily routine effects. | 01:07:59 | |
The greater good. | 01:08:02 | |
There's a 50% drop in turnover. | 01:08:04 | |
And I think we can all agree the the climate of the world that we're living in. | 01:08:06 | |
Is ripe with turnover or not being able to fill positions. | 01:08:11 | |
Because of whatever the situation is, right? So if we can help people feel like they belong. | 01:08:15 | |
It can help eliminate that attrition that happens. | 01:08:19 | |
Because people don't feel like they belong. | 01:08:23 | |
A 75% reduction in sick days. | 01:08:25 | |
I'll share with you what this looks like in education. | 01:08:28 | |
Um, September, October. | 01:08:32 | |
On a Friday in in the high school I was at, we would average, I don't know, like 5 to 6. | 01:08:35 | |
People gone in September and October. | 01:08:41 | |
As the year went on, people started feeling more isolated. | 01:08:44 | |
They really feel like they belong to the the greater good. | 01:08:48 | |
And we would go maybe. | 01:08:51 | |
The last couple weeks in May into June. | 01:08:54 | |
And we would average like 50 Subs that we would need every single day on Fridays, right? And so. | 01:08:58 | |
You obviously you know how terrible that is, right? But. | 01:09:04 | |
If people don't feel like they belong. | 01:09:08 | |
And they're not feeling great. | 01:09:10 | |
When that alarm goes off Friday morning, it's really easy to say, hmm, not today. | 01:09:12 | |
And go back to sleep or. | 01:09:17 | |
I guess I'm a little sick. I'm going to stay home today, right? But if if we feel like we belong, we might power through, we might | 01:09:19 | |
push through. Those days we don't really feel like it and we might come in. | 01:09:24 | |
Then that last one, an increase in employer promoter score. What that means? | 01:09:30 | |
Is if people feel like they belong here at the city of Port Wanami. | 01:09:35 | |
Then when they go out and they interact with people from different agencies. | 01:09:38 | |
They're going to say, yeah, you should come work here because it's awesome. | 01:09:42 | |
People feel supported and they want to belong and they want to. | 01:09:47 | |
They want to feel like a part of something. | 01:09:50 | |
But if people don't feel like they belong. | 01:09:52 | |
That's not what they're going to say. | 01:09:54 | |
You know, hey I saw you have a job at Port Wine. Emy should I apply? | 01:09:56 | |
No. | 01:10:00 | |
No, you don't want to come work here. | 01:10:01 | |
In fact, do you have a job in your city and I can work with you right and so? | 01:10:03 | |
When we create that belonging, we create a space where people feel like. | 01:10:07 | |
They want to be a part of what we're trying to accomplish. | 01:10:11 | |
Um, So what? I ask of you guys. | 01:10:16 | |
And this is kind of rhetorical, so I don't need answers. | 01:10:20 | |
But in the last 90 days? | 01:10:23 | |
What have you done? | 01:10:25 | |
To help somebody feel like they belong. | 01:10:27 | |
Here. | 01:10:30 | |
What have you done? | 01:10:31 | |
To help somebody feel like they belong in your. | 01:10:33 | |
In your relationships, in your, in your job? Like what is it that you've done? | 01:10:37 | |
And then what will you do in the next 90 days? | 01:10:40 | |
To be intentional about helping somebody feel like they belong. | 01:10:43 | |
Right. And this isn't just like I'll smile at work. Like, no, like, that's like, what are you going to do to help people feel like | 01:10:47 | |
they belong? | 01:10:51 | |
Are you gonna be intentional about the conversations that you have? Are you gonna? | 01:10:55 | |
And look for ways to help and and do different things right and so. | 01:10:59 | |
Just something to think about, about creating space to help people feel like they belong. | 01:11:02 | |
Did you want us to answer that question? No, no. It's just rhetorical. I mean, you can if you want to. | 01:11:08 | |
I I would say genuinely care about the other person. | 01:11:12 | |
Whomever it is, what does that look like? | 01:11:15 | |
Feeling like. | 01:11:19 | |
They're your brother, they're your sister. There's some. They're part of your team, like they're an extension of you. | 01:11:20 | |
Actually acknowledging them like as. | 01:11:25 | |
As part of your world versus like, hey, it's that world and not my world. | 01:11:28 | |
You know. | 01:11:34 | |
So relationships are not transactional, transactional. | 01:11:35 | |
There's meaning behind it, right? And. | 01:11:39 | |
And I'm creating a space and opportunity where. | 01:11:42 | |
You feel valued, heard and important, not just. | 01:11:44 | |
Another piece in the puzzle. | 01:11:47 | |
Right. | 01:11:49 | |
Good. | 01:11:51 | |
Integrity. This is this last piece and we'll just touch on this briefly, but these are three things that we can do to help build | 01:11:53 | |
our integrity with those around us. | 01:11:57 | |
We can give honest feedback. | 01:12:01 | |
I I feel like it's hard when we're in situations. | 01:12:03 | |
That. | 01:12:06 | |
We don't want to damage relationships and so we're not completely honest with people, right? I don't know how they're going to | 01:12:07 | |
take this. I don't want to ruin the relationship that we have. | 01:12:11 | |
So I'm not going to be truthful. | 01:12:15 | |
Right. | 01:12:17 | |
And and for those of you who have had an experience with that. | 01:12:18 | |
Nine times out of 10, that comes back. | 01:12:22 | |
And we look at that as a as a time that kind of derailed. | 01:12:25 | |
What it was that we were trying to accomplish. | 01:12:29 | |
Rather than. | 01:12:32 | |
Taking those five to 10 minutes of awkwardness. | 01:12:33 | |
And improving the situation. | 01:12:36 | |
Being transparent and authentic. | 01:12:39 | |
And it kind of goes hand in hand with that, that previous comment and then benevolence, we're just being kind, right, being kind | 01:12:41 | |
to those around us. | 01:12:44 | |
Helping them feel like they're valued and important. | 01:12:48 | |
Goes a long way. | 01:12:50 | |
And in that piece of being genuine, right, everyone can tell when you're just. | 01:12:52 | |
Being kind to check the box. | 01:12:56 | |
But if we're being kind and genuinely kind. | 01:12:58 | |
And it helps people feel like they that that they belong. | 01:13:01 | |
OK. | 01:13:06 | |
Do we need to take a a break at all? We do. We feeling good? | 01:13:07 | |
Yeah, yeah. | 01:13:14 | |
Yeah, for sure. We'll, we'll wait for you for sure. | 01:13:15 | |
I'm looking that coffee. | 01:13:21 | |
So. | 01:13:23 | |
Where do you get this? | 01:13:23 | |
This is this. Obviously it's not a PowerPoint, but. | 01:13:24 | |
Is this like a template that you're using for this production or? | 01:13:29 | |
Umm. | 01:13:33 | |
It's created on a website called Canva. It's called Canva Canva. Yeah, it's definitely like it it really. | 01:13:35 | |
Really forces you to minimize your. | 01:13:42 | |
Words, yes. | 01:13:45 | |
Yeah, well. | 01:13:46 | |
What's it called again? Canva. Canva like canvas but without the S? | 01:13:47 | |
Canva.com. | 01:13:53 | |
I do a lot of trainings. | 01:13:55 | |
Beacon on Fridays sanitation meeting. You had that, No, I don't know why. This is my country because they're normally they cancel. | 01:14:25 | |
That's right. | 01:14:37 | |
OK. | 01:20:10 | |
All right. | 01:20:12 | |
So when we're talking about good judgment for me, there are four kind of different areas that we can identify. | 01:20:13 | |
That help us develop or can we can identify that or show? | 01:20:19 | |
That we can utilize and make good judgment decisions. On the left, we have people seek our opinion. | 01:20:23 | |
What that means is. | 01:20:28 | |
If we make good decisions, people want. | 01:20:30 | |
To know what we would do in certain situations because that helps them. | 01:20:32 | |
Make better decisions for themselves, right? | 01:20:37 | |
Think about a mentor or somebody that you would go to frequently when you first started it in your role. | 01:20:40 | |
Who is someone you would go to? You knew? | 01:20:45 | |
That they would give you the right answer, or if it wasn't the right answer, it would stimulate something. | 01:20:48 | |
That would help you make the right decision. | 01:20:53 | |
And we can demonstrate our good judgment through our knowledge and expertise. And if I have. | 01:20:55 | |
Adequate knowledge and expertise. I can usually make good decisions. | 01:21:02 | |
And I I have a time that I've spent doing something where I have the training that has given me the ability to. | 01:21:06 | |
To make these good decisions. | 01:21:11 | |
And that kind of goes with that bottom right one and that next one. | 01:21:13 | |
I I can anticipate and respond to situations quickly. | 01:21:17 | |
So even if I don't have the right answer. | 01:21:20 | |
I can anticipate something and and I can respond quickly. | 01:21:23 | |
And then I have the ability to to just do the right things and and people can see. | 01:21:27 | |
That I can do the right things and that demonstrates my ability to make good decisions. | 01:21:31 | |
Umm. | 01:21:36 | |
It's very easy for us to recognize when someone doesn't have. | 01:21:38 | |
Good judgment because they frequently make poor decisions. | 01:21:41 | |
And they frequently make the wrong choice. | 01:21:44 | |
And they give the task to the wrong person because they don't know the people that they're working with well. | 01:21:47 | |
And if if my strength is not interacting with people. | 01:21:52 | |
And my boss continually gives me tasks and jobs that require me to interact with people. | 01:21:55 | |
I'm not going to perform well. | 01:22:01 | |
And I'm and I'm not going to enjoy. | 01:22:02 | |
Working with that boss because they're giving me opportunities to be unsuccessful. | 01:22:05 | |
And the flip side of that is maybe they're giving me those to to grow and to. | 01:22:10 | |
And to change. | 01:22:14 | |
But without properties, proper scaffolding and support it's going to be hard for me to do that. | 01:22:15 | |
Here are some questions that you can kind of answer for yourself. | 01:22:21 | |
You don't need to answer these out loud, but these are questions that you can ask yourself. | 01:22:25 | |
About your ability or inability. | 01:22:29 | |
To make or utilize good judgment. OK, so this first question Do you agree or disagree? | 01:22:31 | |
My decisions reflect the goals of my team, department, agency. | 01:22:36 | |
Council, city, etcetera. | 01:22:41 | |
Right if. If. | 01:22:43 | |
Um, your decisions reflect that, and it's. | 01:22:44 | |
Good. | 01:22:47 | |
If they don't, reflect that. | 01:22:48 | |
Then it's going to be hard for you to make good decisions that reflect the good for the agency or group that you're a part of. | 01:22:50 | |
This next one, do you agree or disagree? I articulate why I make. | 01:22:56 | |
Certain decisions and actions regularly. | 01:23:01 | |
This isn't. | 01:23:05 | |
Because people need you to. | 01:23:07 | |
And oftentimes when we make decisions, people want to know why. So can you share why you made certain decisions? | 01:23:09 | |
Can you? | 01:23:16 | |
I don't want to say justify, but can you demonstrate why you chose the decision that you chose and that helps other people | 01:23:17 | |
understand? | 01:23:20 | |
Where you're coming from? | 01:23:23 | |
And make informed decisions accurately in a timely manner. | 01:23:25 | |
I think manner those are I think 2 pieces. | 01:23:28 | |
I can make decisions quickly. | 01:23:31 | |
Right, that's part of it. | 01:23:33 | |
But if I take too long to make a decision because I'm so worried about finding the wrong answer. | 01:23:35 | |
Are making the wrong decision. | 01:23:40 | |
And that's going to work against me. | 01:23:41 | |
I know where I where to go to find information I need to do my job so if I don't have the skills or the. | 01:23:44 | |
The repertoire or the ability to do that? Do I have someone that I can go to? | 01:23:50 | |
Are there resources that at my disposal that I can find these answers and then make this decision quickly? | 01:23:54 | |
When someone questions me, I second guess my decision. | 01:24:00 | |
And we all do this right? | 01:24:03 | |
But is this something that we do frequently do, or do we have conviction in the decisions that we make? | 01:24:05 | |
I am swayed easily. | 01:24:11 | |
Right. And so if you're trying to make a decision, can people come and and change your mind easily or or can you make a decision | 01:24:13 | |
and and stick to it because you know it's the right decision? | 01:24:17 | |
And then last, I review my decisions, actions and their effects regularly. | 01:24:22 | |
Right. So do I look back on the decision that I make or we talked earlier about? | 01:24:26 | |
At the time we had all the right information and now we know it's not right. | 01:24:30 | |
But do I reflect back on that? Is there something I could have done differently? | 01:24:34 | |
To get the right information or to change the trajectory of of the decision of the project that I'm working on? | 01:24:38 | |
And all of these kind of go in and and help us. | 01:24:44 | |
Do this so if if we're saying. | 01:24:47 | |
Agree to most of these. | 01:24:49 | |
And granted, we have to take it with a grain of salt because it's our own self diagnosis, right? And oftentimes we're not. | 01:24:52 | |
As hard on ourselves as others might be. | 01:24:57 | |
Or as we should be. | 01:25:00 | |
But if we're saying yes to most of these, it's probably a good indicator that we have good judgment. | 01:25:01 | |
We're saying no to most of these. | 01:25:06 | |
Um. Or to some of these? | 01:25:08 | |
This is identifying some areas of some ways that we can improve. | 01:25:10 | |
Or some areas that we can focus on to improve our good judgment. | 01:25:13 | |
And being consistent and accountable. This is that last piece. | 01:25:19 | |
Do we walk the walk? | 01:25:23 | |
Right. So if I'm asking people to do something, am I willing to do it myself? | 01:25:24 | |
And we all know those people who say. | 01:25:29 | |
Don't do as I say and don't do as I do, but I want you to do it. | 01:25:32 | |
Because I need you to do it, but I'm not going to do that right. It's really hard to. | 01:25:36 | |
To follow somebody that's doing that. | 01:25:40 | |
On our commitments and keep promises. | 01:25:42 | |
If we had a team of 20 people that we were working with. | 01:25:45 | |
And we treated 16 people differently than four, right? So. | 01:25:49 | |
Four people kind of got to do whatever they wanted got away with. | 01:25:53 | |
And not being held accountable, didn't get reprimanded for making mistakes, whatever it was. | 01:25:57 | |
And 16 people did. | 01:26:02 | |
And what's going to start happening to those 16 people? | 01:26:04 | |
Are they going to continue to do? | 01:26:07 | |
And. | 01:26:09 | |
What they are supposed to be doing. | 01:26:10 | |
Frequently. No. | 01:26:13 | |
They're going to stop doing what they're supposed to be doing. It's going to reduce the morale of the group. | 01:26:14 | |
And it's going to increase the amount of people who aren't. | 01:26:19 | |
Falling in line and it's going to ruin the culture that we have. | 01:26:22 | |
There's a a statement that a a head coach that I used to work with used frequently and it was. | 01:26:26 | |
That which you ignore, you allow. | 01:26:31 | |
And so if we see behavior happening. | 01:26:33 | |
We don't say anything. | 01:26:35 | |
Essentially what we're saying is I'm, I'm OK with it happening. | 01:26:36 | |
Even if we're not, but if we see something and don't. | 01:26:39 | |
Do anything about it? | 01:26:42 | |
Or allowing that behavior to happen. | 01:26:44 | |
And so when we're we're helping people be consistent and accountable. | 01:26:46 | |
And if we see something, we act, we do. | 01:26:50 | |
Try and change that behavior. | 01:26:53 | |
And then last, we're willing to go above and beyond, right? We're not just. | 01:26:55 | |
Here for the what's expected of me and nothing more, but we're willing to do more. | 01:26:58 | |
And and help other people be accountable to that as well. | 01:27:02 | |
OK, here's a question for us that I want us to talk with the person next to you. | 01:27:07 | |
And in these areas. | 01:27:13 | |
Can I build trust quickly at work if so? | 01:27:16 | |
How can I build trust quickly at work? | 01:27:21 | |
And I don't want you to say no, because the answer is yes, and you can build trust quickly at work. | 01:27:23 | |
So how can we build trust quickly at work? | 01:27:29 | |
In these three areas. | 01:27:31 | |
OK. | 01:27:33 | |
Gonna give you guys a minute and 1/2. | 01:27:33 | |
Mark Seco. | 01:27:36 | |
Hmm. | 01:27:43 | |
Agree. | 01:27:49 | |
It's different. | 01:27:50 | |
OK. | 01:28:46 | |
Does anybody have an idea on how we can build trust quickly at work within relationships? | 01:28:50 | |
Anybody have any ideas? | 01:28:56 | |
So you're not in your head. | 01:29:00 | |
OK, what's one of them? | 01:29:03 | |
Communication, OK. | 01:29:06 | |
It goes back to what we said in the beginning. | 01:29:08 | |
Um, communication, transparency, being collaborative, honesty, and having accountability. | 01:29:11 | |
Yeah. | 01:29:17 | |
And it takes. | 01:29:18 | |
A little bit of effort to communicate. | 01:29:20 | |
But communication goes a long way with building trust. | 01:29:22 | |
The back communication starts wars. | 01:29:26 | |
That's very true. | 01:29:28 | |
And the illusion of communication ruins everything. | 01:29:29 | |
Very good. | 01:29:32 | |
Any other thoughts? | 01:29:33 | |
And building trust within relationships quickly. | 01:29:35 | |
Let's go to the idea of meeting somebody for the first time. | 01:29:39 | |
Whether it's a workplace or a club or something. | 01:29:44 | |
Is communicating has Mayor Pro Tem mentioned. | 01:29:47 | |
But getting to know them, Letting them know that you're interested in in learning about them, asking questions about what they | 01:29:52 | |
like, what their interests are, and finding some commonality. | 01:29:57 | |
Being genuine. | 01:30:02 | |
And being a kind person. | 01:30:03 | |
Yeah, very good. | 01:30:05 | |
Any other thoughts? | 01:30:06 | |
I can repeat if you don't want to come up to the mic. | 01:30:08 | |
OK. | 01:30:13 | |
What about making and utilizing good judgment? Are there ways we can do that to help us build trust quickly at work? | 01:30:14 | |
As we all know, right? | 01:30:33 | |
Any ideas on building relational trust quickly in? | 01:30:37 | |
In judgment. | 01:30:41 | |
OK. | 01:30:50 | |
Yeah. | 01:30:52 | |
Sure. Are they following through on their commitments? How do they treat other people? | 01:30:58 | |
Yeah. | 01:31:03 | |
Are they being accountable? Very good. | 01:31:04 | |
Which leads us to our next one of consistency. | 01:31:06 | |
Right, are we? | 01:31:09 | |
Interacting consistently with those around us, right? It's. | 01:31:11 | |
It's very easy. | 01:31:14 | |
Especially if you're on the outside looking in. | 01:31:15 | |
To to to see that people are not being consistent, right, please. | 01:31:18 | |
Think we all may relate to this, but umm. | 01:31:23 | |
In just about every relationship. | 01:31:27 | |
Professional or otherwise. | 01:31:30 | |
You run into someone who's, you know, difficult. And ohh, that's just so and so he doesn't mean it. Just, you know. | 01:31:32 | |
And it's like, well, wait a minute. | 01:31:39 | |
You know that behavior is is not good. | 01:31:41 | |
Ohh. But that's just that's just how he is. Yeah, let it go, right. | 01:31:44 | |
You know it's I find that. | 01:31:49 | |
Difficult sometimes to like. | 01:31:50 | |
Wait a minute. | 01:31:52 | |
We're taught we're getting what we tolerate. | 01:31:54 | |
And that's, I think you said it differently, but yeah, basically you get what you tolerate and so sometimes. | 01:31:56 | |
You know, the communication piece is like, hey, you know. | 01:32:02 | |
Not quite. | 01:32:05 | |
Yeah. | 01:32:07 | |
Yeah, exactly, exactly. Here are some areas that I kind of thought on ways that we can build our trust within those areas. | 01:32:08 | |
Kindness. Being approachable. Just being kind. | 01:32:17 | |
Is a way that we can start. | 01:32:19 | |
To build out those relationships and build trust within that. | 01:32:21 | |
Within those relationships. | 01:32:24 | |
And we can increase our knowledge and expertise which will help us make. | 01:32:26 | |
More informed and better decisions. | 01:32:30 | |
And then last. | 01:32:32 | |
We want to improve our credibility and our ability, right? So if I'm saying I'm going to do something, start doing it right away. | 01:32:34 | |
But I I don't. | 01:32:40 | |
I don't. | 01:32:41 | |
Say something and then do something completely different, right? And that's gonna that's ways that we can start demonstrating. | 01:32:43 | |
That we want to build trust. | 01:32:48 | |
Alright, there is a. | 01:32:51 | |
Motivational, Inspirational, transformational speaker. Whatever you want. | 01:32:56 | |
Whatever adjective you want to use. | 01:33:00 | |
His name is Simon Sinek. Have you guys heard of this guy? | 01:33:02 | |
He gives frequent Ted talks. | 01:33:05 | |
Yeah, yeah. And. And one of the talks that he gives, well, he gives a lot of talks. | 01:33:08 | |
But one of them he focuses on building and and and trusting and creating trust and relationships. | 01:33:12 | |
And I'm going to kind of walk you through his. | 01:33:18 | |
And analogy of trust. And So what he wanted to do was identify. | 01:33:21 | |
The groups that had. | 01:33:25 | |
The most trust in the world? | 01:33:27 | |
And find qualities and traits that that set them apart from other people. | 01:33:29 | |
And the the team or group of people that he identified. | 01:33:33 | |
As having some of the most trust. | 01:33:37 | |
Are SEAL teams Navy SEAL teams? | 01:33:40 | |
And. | 01:33:43 | |
And he. | 01:33:44 | |
Tried to. | 01:33:46 | |
Graph out what their trust looked like for them. | 01:33:47 | |
Um, Their trust was. | 01:33:51 | |
This is good. Like their performance, are they able to accomplish the task? Can I trust you within your task? | 01:33:54 | |
Can I trust you with my life? | 01:34:00 | |
Right. That's what they're kind of referring to. | 01:34:03 | |
And then like this trust. Do I trust you with my wife? | 01:34:05 | |
Right. So there's there's different trusts there. | 01:34:08 | |
Your wife like. | 01:34:11 | |
Like it's not job performance related, but can I trust you? | 01:34:13 | |
Outside of that, right. So there's. | 01:34:16 | |
There's job trust and then there's relationship trust. So you clearly cannot be trusted with the laser pointer. | 01:34:18 | |
No, I can't. But like, this is this is fun, right? | 01:34:26 | |
I don't know it's on here. | 01:34:30 | |
I don't know. It's cool, but anyway so. | 01:34:32 | |
Sorry for distraction. Anyway, So what he what he was looking at was if you had high performance. | 01:34:35 | |
And high trust, obviously that's sought after, right? But in work typically we're not. | 01:34:41 | |
Trusting people with our life. | 01:34:51 | |
And hopefully we're not trusting people. | 01:34:54 | |
With our wife or our spouse, right? Hopefully that's not the type of work relationships that we have, right? But are we trusting? | 01:34:57 | |
As our job performance where it needs to be. | 01:35:04 | |
And are we trusting people? | 01:35:06 | |
That we work with. | 01:35:08 | |
OK. | 01:35:10 | |
O like I said. | 01:35:10 | |
Obviously somebody who has low performance and low trust. | 01:35:12 | |
Not a good leader, not somebody that we're looking for, right? On SEAL teams, it's exactly the same. | 01:35:16 | |
They don't want their leader to have low trust. | 01:35:23 | |
Low performance. | 01:35:25 | |
The ideal candidate to be a leader on the SEAL team. | 01:35:27 | |
With someone with high performance. | 01:35:30 | |
I trust again this makes sense to us, right? | 01:35:32 | |
If you get the job done and people trust you. | 01:35:35 | |
Usually, you're a good leader. | 01:35:37 | |
What they identified and what was interesting in their their research and their. | 01:35:40 | |
Their findings was people with high performance. | 01:35:44 | |
And low trust. | 01:35:47 | |
Were actually more detrimental to the team. | 01:35:49 | |
And somebody with medium performance and high trust. | 01:35:53 | |
And even somebody who had. | 01:35:57 | |
Low performance and high trust. | 01:35:59 | |
The the SEAL teams preferred leaders if they couldn't be this one. | 01:36:02 | |
They preferred medium performance but high trust or low performance. | 01:36:06 | |
But high trust over somebody. | 01:36:11 | |
With high performance and low trust. | 01:36:13 | |
Why? | 01:36:16 | |
There's a lot of reasons. | 01:36:17 | |
Right. But if we're taking this to the workplace? | 01:36:19 | |
Right. Somebody with high performance. | 01:36:23 | |
And low trust. | 01:36:25 | |
This is the jerk of the office. | 01:36:27 | |
They get things done. | 01:36:29 | |
But they don't really care how they get things done right. | 01:36:31 | |
Yeah. | 01:36:34 | |
And they just kind of. | 01:36:35 | |
Bulldozed through situations, Bulldozed through people. | 01:36:37 | |
And what's hard? | 01:36:41 | |
Is there are tons of metrics to reward those people? | 01:36:42 | |
Right. Their job performance, their acquisitions, their. | 01:36:46 | |
They're revenue generated, right? And so when they're interviewing for jobs. | 01:36:49 | |
Those people can demonstrate. Look at my abilities, look at my skills. Obviously I make a good leader. | 01:36:53 | |
And those people get promoted. | 01:36:59 | |
But there are not metrics. | 01:37:01 | |
For these people who may be maybe don't perform as well. | 01:37:03 | |
But the trust that they have with the people around them is really, really high. | 01:37:07 | |
And so these people oftentimes don't get promoted. | 01:37:11 | |
Because we have no way to measure. | 01:37:14 | |
Their impact on an organization. | 01:37:17 | |
O when we're thinking about. | 01:37:19 | |
And the people that were working with, the people that were celebrating, are we finding ways to celebrate? | 01:37:21 | |
These people over here who have high trust. | 01:37:27 | |
Maybe their performance isn't as high. | 01:37:30 | |
Right. But are we finding ways to identify these people and get them to lead? | 01:37:32 | |
And get them to be the ones who help change what it is that we want to change within our organization because they're going to get | 01:37:37 | |
people to believe and to buy in. | 01:37:41 | |
Think about a time that you've had to affect change within your organization at some point. | 01:37:47 | |
If you can get people. | 01:37:53 | |
On your side, who people believe in? | 01:37:55 | |
It's going to be a lot easier to get the people who don't believe in you to believe in what you're trying to accomplish. It's that | 01:37:58 | |
same concept, right? So. | 01:38:03 | |
All that being said, what are we doing to help these people? | 01:38:08 | |
To demonstrate this, trust. | 01:38:12 | |
And that's always celebrate the people who get the job done but are jerks along the way. | 01:38:14 | |
Just some thoughts some. | 01:38:19 | |
Some, some, some time to reflect and think about what it is that we're doing within our organization. | 01:38:21 | |
And. | 01:38:27 | |
In an interest of time and. | 01:38:28 | |
And kind of how I'm feeling the vibe, we're going to skip this activity. Are you guys OK with that? | 01:38:30 | |
Yeah, good. | 01:38:35 | |
Um, so how do I know if the people that I'm working with trust me? | 01:38:36 | |
Here are some questions that you can ask yourself. | 01:38:41 | |
And kind of read through those to see if the people around you trust you. | 01:38:44 | |
Right. If if colleagues come to you and share their opinions with you, and coworkers come to you in situations of crisis and need | 01:38:49 | |
and and you can read the rest. | 01:38:52 | |
But if you're answering yes to these questions, and I know this isn't perfect. | 01:38:57 | |
But if you're answering yes to these, it's a pretty good indicator. | 01:39:01 | |
That the people around you trust you. | 01:39:04 | |
Umm. | 01:39:06 | |
That doesn't mean like this. Let's see where we at. | 01:39:08 | |
That do people confide in you, then they're not going to be telling you their life stories, right? But if I'm struggling or I need | 01:39:11 | |
help and I trust you. | 01:39:15 | |
I'm going to go to you and I'm going to let you know about it. | 01:39:20 | |
But if I don't trust you, I'm not going to. | 01:39:22 | |
Just as important as it is for us. | 01:39:26 | |
To have the trust of those that we're working with is. | 01:39:28 | |
We need to demonstrate that we trust the people that we're working in. So if we flip these questions around. | 01:39:31 | |
It's a good indicator if. | 01:39:37 | |
To demonstrate if we trust the people that we're working with. | 01:39:39 | |
So we'll change the questions up just a little bit. Do I share my opinions with my colleagues? | 01:39:42 | |
Do I go to my coworkers in situations of crisis or need? | 01:39:48 | |
And if you can say yes to these questions. | 01:39:52 | |
And. | 01:39:54 | |
It's a pretty a. | 01:39:55 | |
Pretty good indicator that you trust the people that you're working with. | 01:39:56 | |
But if you don't answer yes to these questions. | 01:40:00 | |
Then it's probably a good indicator that you don't trust the people that you're working with. So is that is that a you thing? Is | 01:40:03 | |
that something that needs to change with them? | 01:40:07 | |
I don't know the answer to that question. Maybe you don't know the answer to that question. | 01:40:12 | |
But it's something to think about, right? Just as important as it is. | 01:40:15 | |
To have trust. | 01:40:19 | |
We need to receive, we need to give that trust. | 01:40:20 | |
Back to those that we work with as well. | 01:40:23 | |
The hard part is we don't always understand the impact that we're having on other people. | 01:40:27 | |
Our self-awareness might not be. | 01:40:33 | |
What it needs to be for us to be successful. | 01:40:35 | |
So we're going to do a fun little experiment with self-awareness right now, OK? | 01:40:38 | |
I have. | 01:40:42 | |
Five different sets of words. | 01:40:43 | |
And you are going to rate yourself on this spectrum? | 01:40:46 | |
Umm. | 01:40:49 | |
And then what's going to happen is you're going to turn to someone next to you and we're going to go through the same words. | 01:40:50 | |
And then they're gonna rate you on these same 5 words. | 01:40:55 | |
OK. | 01:40:59 | |
This makes sense. | 01:41:00 | |
O, what's going to happen is we're going to this is just pretend, this is just an example. | 01:41:01 | |
But if the words are reserved and talkative. | 01:41:06 | |
Then somewhere along this spectrum you find yourself from one being super reserved. | 01:41:09 | |
To attend being super talkative. | 01:41:14 | |
So if this is the first one, then you'd give yourself a one through 10. | 01:41:16 | |
To represent your. | 01:41:22 | |
Talking Ness. | 01:41:25 | |
That makes sense. | 01:41:26 | |
OK, so maybe you're on the quieter side, but you still chat with coworkers during lunch, so you give yourself A4. | 01:41:27 | |
OK. | 01:41:33 | |
So there's five of these. | 01:41:34 | |
And I want you to write these down either on. | 01:41:36 | |
Piece of paper in your phone and your notes a whatever. | 01:41:38 | |
But you need to be able to have these so you can reference them. | 01:41:41 | |
When we finish, OK, once we finish the five words, then you're going to identify somebody that is in this room that is going to | 01:41:45 | |
rate you. | 01:41:50 | |
And this same exact words and then at the end we're going to talk back. | 01:41:55 | |
And see how. | 01:41:59 | |
Self aware we are of ourselves. OK, does this make sense? | 01:42:00 | |
Is everybody ready? | 01:42:04 | |
OK. | 01:42:06 | |
All right, so on a scale of 1 to 10. | 01:42:08 | |
Do you find yourself being a pushover? | 01:42:10 | |
Or do you find yourself being a bulldozer, so just write the number down? | 01:42:13 | |
Where you think you are. | 01:42:17 | |
You're at work. | 01:42:19 | |
Not outside of work, because maybe the people that were are here. | 01:42:21 | |
Don't know you outside of work, but how do people feel? | 01:42:24 | |
How do you think people, how do you see yourself? You're at work? | 01:42:27 | |
OK, so you just write number one through 10. | 01:42:31 | |
Everybody good? | 01:42:34 | |
I'm assuming yes, OK. | 01:42:37 | |
Here at work, do you consider yourself to be a non communicator? | 01:42:40 | |
Or do you consider yourself to be an over communicator? | 01:42:44 | |
Do you consider yourself to be insecure here at work, or do you consider yourself to be arrogant? | 01:42:57 | |
You're at work. | 01:43:03 | |
And I know this is rough and it's not perfect, so I apologize, but. | 01:43:05 | |
We'll have some fun with it. | 01:43:09 | |
OK. | 01:43:10 | |
#4 | 01:43:13 | |
Do you consider yourself to be a trusting person? | 01:43:14 | |
Or you can see yourself to be a skeptical person. | 01:43:17 | |
OK. | 01:43:24 | |
And last but not least, do you consider yourself to be an introverted person? | 01:43:27 | |
Or do you consider yourself to be an extroverted person? | 01:43:31 | |
Introverted being you find and gain energy from being alone. | 01:43:35 | |
Extroverted. You get energy from being around other people. That's a good. | 01:43:39 | |
Designation between the two. OK, so on your. | 01:43:44 | |
Device on your piece of paper you should have 5 numbers. | 01:43:47 | |
Anybody missing? | 01:43:50 | |
5 numbers. | 01:43:51 | |
OK. | 01:43:55 | |
Right. So I want you to find somebody in this room. | 01:43:56 | |
And you're going to evaluate them. | 01:44:00 | |
OK, so. | 01:44:03 | |
If we have to do a group of three, we can do a group of three. |